The Green Eyes I Fell For (Lauren Jauregui/You)

Chapter |29|

Your point of view:

Why is it that winter break was three weeks long and yet it only feels like it was a few days long? I'm not ready for break to be over, I want to be able to sleep in in the mornings instead of having to wake up at 5:30 every single morning.

It's like I am not getting enough sleep, I go to bed usually around 9 and 10 because you're supposed to get around 10 hours of sleep in order to be able to function in the day.  I did a lot of research on how much sleep I should be getting because of an essay I had to write in English...

You're probably wondering if Lauren and I are okay now and the answer is no... she hasn't talked to me since she had that gig after Christmas when I told her that she was always at a gig and how I don't complain about it. I know, I was kind of being rude to her, and I did apologize about how rude I had been but she simply just ignored me.

I'm just so stressed right now, my dad had called me the other day when he hasn't bothered to talk to me for two years and he had asked if I would go and visit him in Colorado and meet his girlfriend. I don't usually speak about my dad because he left my mom and I when I was a freshman, he didn't even say goodbye how low is that?

I didn't answer him only because I did not know if I wanted to just let him back into my life when he left it like he did, who's to say he won't do it again? And he wants me to meet his girlfriend? Are you kidding me? No. Just no.

Today is Monday, the first day back at school from winter break... I'm not excited. Like at all. I mean at least I got all the homework I was behind on done.

"Hey." Camila greeted me while readjusting her backpack straps on her shoulders as her footsteps fell in sync with my own as we walked down the hallway.

I gave her a small tired smile before saying, "Hi."

We turned around a corner now heading down a different hallway, "Has Lauren talked to you yet?" All I could do was shake my head making Camila groan.

"Why is she so freaking stubborn?" The subject of Lauren is making me feel a little uncomfortable because we haven't talked for so long.

Not wanting to continue this conversation I tried ending it by saying, "I don't know... but hey I'll see you around? I left my jacket in the locker rooms over break so I gotta go get it." I pointed to the locker rooms that were right behind us both.

"Yeah, that's fine, I'll see you at lunch." Camila wrapped her arms around me hugging me before we both went our separate ways.

Heading into the locker room I heard feet shuffling around but just ignored it continuing on my way to my to my gym locker, unlocking it and grabbing my maroon zip up jacket.

"Hey." A familiar raspy voice that I hadn't heard for a while came from behind me making me jump a little as I turned around to meet those green eyes I haven't looked into for a long while.

Placing a hand over my chest I said, "God, you scared me... "

"Sorry," Lauren chuckled softly as she scratched the back of her neck nervously. "I didn't mean to." Her eyes met mine once again which made me more nervous than I would like.

"It's fine." I closed my locker then turned away from Lauren to leave until I felt her familiar hands gently touch my left wrist causing me to stiffen.

"Y/n, could we talk?"

"Sure." Lauren's hand let go of my wrist and made it's way into her skinny jeans pockets as I sat down on the bench that is in the middle of the two rows of lockers.

"I wanted to talk about last week, how I was at the gig near the beach? When we were on the phone I shouldn't have gotten mad about you always doing homework, you were just trying to catch up on school work that you have been missing so you didn't have to worry about it anymore."

Looking down at my hands I began to fidget with my fingers, "Yeah.."

"And what you said,  how I am always at a gig and talking about gigs and you don't complain?"

"I said that and I know that I came off really rude and I am sorry but it is true Lauren. You are beginning to have less and less time with me, the last time we actually spent time together was Christmas."

"It's just, this whole music thing is really exciting and new to me; this is what I want to do in the future, I want to be a musician. I don't exactly know how to make time for my girlfriend, the gigs and even time for myself and family." She leaned against the locker in front of me looking down at me, the feeling of her looking over my features makes me feel insecure.

"You have to know that I don't do this on purpose, I would spend all of my time with you if I could. I love you Y/n, I don't want you to think I don't."
"I love you too Lauren, but that's not the only thing... we have too many arguments and it's getting tiring. Our arguments are pointless and the whole time we have been dating we have had a lot of arguments." I looked into her eyes but immediately looked away afraid that I won't be able to do what I need to do.

"That's not true, we've been doing okay. Baby it's normal for people in relationships to get in arguments." Lauren's voice calm and she sat down next to me on the bench, her hand on my thigh.

Tears began to fill my eyes but I immediately blinked them away, "Lo, I don't think we should be together anymore." My words quiet as they left my mouth.

God my heart is beating so fast, I don't want to do this but this relationship is hurting me and I need worry about myself right now.

"W-What do you mean you don't think we should be together anymore?"

"I think we should break up." I said, my voice cracking and I sniffed my nose.

"Y/n, we don't have to end this.. We have something I have never had with anyone else." I saw a tear escape her eye and travel down her cheek. "If this is about the arguments I'll do better I promise, and the performances and making time for you I will try my best.  Just please don't break up with me."

I tried holding my tears back by blinking my eyes and biting my lip but I can feel that it isn't going to last very long, This is so hard... "I think we just need time to find ourselves, you and the girls with your music and me, I'm going to find myself... This is what's best Lolo."

"I love you.." She cried which broke my heart even more than it is by doing this right now, I pulled her into me hugging her tight, her tears making my shirt a little bit wet, I let a few tears flow down my cheeks.

"I love you too." Is the last thing I said before kissing her forehead and leaving the locker room before I become an even more mess than I am right now.  I walked outside and headed to my car and when I got inside I finally let my emotions take over me. 

I know that Lauren and I had something real and something special and she was in fact my first love but sometimes good things have to come come to an end. Who knows if Lauren and I will get back together in the future but I do know that we can still be friends, she will do great with the girls in her band. It's time I focus on myself and find out what I want to do in the future. During this time I won't stop talking and hanging out with the girls and Lauren, I will just have more time to myself to focus on me.

The End.
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A/n: okay so this is the last chapter of the book and I didn't even know it was going to be but there might be a sequel only if you would like! Hmu with your ideas and thoughts and I'm sorrrrry that I suck at ending books but a good thing will come out of this! Thank you so much for reading this I love you guys! Keep in mind there might be a sequel💕

-Vanessa