Not as Planned [OFFSPRING FANFIC]

1. Priorities

1.  Priorities

Desperate to get inside, I fumbled when trying to put the key in the lock. This definitely wasn't working in my favour. If only I could've knocked off work ten or twenty minutes earlier. Next thing I know the keys slip out of my hands, onto the pavement, directly in front of my door. Seriously Nina, how many times have you done this?

As I finally manage to gain entry a few seconds later there's only one thing on my mind. All I had to focus on now was getting to the bathroom on time. Please, there better not be any baby proofing – the previous incident was way too humiliating to mention.

Soon after I lifted the lid of the toilet and sat down, I heard an incoming call. Why does my iPhone always ring at the most inconvenient time? Can't I be granted at least one moment of peace? Obviously not. Just as I leant over to the sink to reach for it, I made an alarming discovery which instantly grasped my attention — taking priority. I was bleeding. Heavily. Okay, no need to panic . . . yet. Just get a pad from upstairs and quickly duck to the Ainsworth before Patrick gets home. It could be nothing. But, Patrick . . . Patrick lost his first baby. I frantically climbed the stairs and headed for the top drawer in my room. As I was glancing at the pad still in its packaging, I was startled, suddenly sensing something from behind. Patrick. He was home early. Patrick let out a slow sigh. 'You're not . . . are you?'

I gave a somewhat reluctant nod. Patrick stood, shocked, frozen in time until he gradually collapsed and sat on the edge of the bed. With his head now buried in his hands, I could just make out some of his muttering. Words demonstrating great frustration and grief. I honestly couldn't blame him. That's exactly how I felt too. Scared and uncertain of the future. I knew it wasn't looking good.

We were now standing outside by the car.

'Hand me the keys I'm driving.' I drew out my palm indicating what I was after.

'Don't be stupid!'

'How am I being-' I cut myself off as I saw no point to argue under the circumstances.

For a brief moment nothing was said between us. We were both suffering in silence.

'Patrick, you're beside yourself.'

'And you're not?'

'Look, okay, but now is not the time to mess about.'

'Exactly so hop in, I'm driving. End of discussion.' Patrick wasn't going to let his guard down. I didn't fight it. He had his reasons and the times ahead were likely to be extremely difficult for both of us to comprehend.

I was glad Patrick chose the Ainsworth. I wasn't ready to face my colleagues about this. At least not until we were certain. I felt as though an unfamiliar face was the best fit at this point in time. The obstetrics ward didn't seem to be as busy as I'd expected, thus I was attended to in a matter of minutes.

As I lay on the bed in an ultrasound suite Patrick had hold of my hand, tightly. As the gel was applied onto my abdomin I was dreading the outcome. I gently rested my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes. This isn't happening. Please. Seconds were going by and the doppler still hadn't registered a heartbeat. As I thought. We'd lost it. Nothing more needed to be said. I slowly looked over at Patrick by my side. I instantly leaned and wrapped my arms loosely around him while also resting my chin on his shoulder. Tears were gradually steaming down my cheeks, later being absorbed by the material of his shirt. I could hear him weeping. Discreetly. He probably thought I wouldn't hear; but I did. Is it terrible that I'm more distraught with guilt than over the loss of our unborn child?

Abruptly, I woke next to Patrick. With shock, I threw myself in an upright position and held my rather large stomach. This roused him slightly.

'You alright?' Patrick muttered, still half asleep.