✔️ 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓&𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 → 𝑓. 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑦

46 | S T R U G G L E

•••
here in the darkness
I know myself.
can't break free until
I let go.
•••

   "You love him."

   Lynnea flinched, when Ginny let her books crush down on the table plate, causing her a death glare from Madame Pince.

   "Excuse me?", Lynnea muttered, facing the books on the table.

   "You can look at me, I noticed your face", the girl replied, sitting down. "What brings me to the first question." Lynnea looked up, her curls covering most of her black eye, but it couldn't hide the cracked lip, neither the scratches on her throat. "What the hell is he doing to you?"

   "Don't know what you're talking about", she said. "Got this from Quidditch practice."

   "I see", Ginny snorted.

   "Come to a point."

   "You love him." She said it in a matter of fact tone, Lynnea stared at her flustered.

   "Ginny, what are you talking about?"

   "Fred", Ginny said. "You said, you love him. I repeated it over and over, the things you said on our second day here. You said you slept with him, because you love him. Took me a while to recognise, I was pretty pissed with you, you know?"

   "So what now?", Lynnea scoffed. "Yes, I love him. Do you want to scream at me again?"

   "No, I want to help you", Ginny replied, cocking an eyebrow, causing Lynnea's lips to part, staring at the girl startled.

   "But why?"

   "Because I know exactly what it is like to love someone who doesn't love you back. The defining difference here is, that Fred actually does love you. Whatever his problem is right now, it's not a lack of feelings for you. Don't look that sceptical", Ginny snorted, when Lynnea's eyebrows raised higher with ever word. "Have you ever noticed the way he's looking at you? The night you chimed in our little argument -"

   "What if he doesn't love me?", Lynnea asked in a whisper. "What if I was just another one of his -?"

   "You weren't one of his bimbos", Ginny cut her off. "Girl, have you even listened to what I told you twenty seconds ago? He loves you. And we'll get him straight back into your arms."

   "What will you do? You've already talked to him about this, as well as George and I." She shook her head. "He won't suddenly change his mind just because you'll tell him ..." 

   "You'll come home with us during Christmas", Ginny said, grinning mischievously. "I have a plan."

   For a while they remained silent, until a thought crossed Lynnea's mind.

   "Ginny, you're dating Dean, aren't you?" The girl slowly nodded. "So what did you mean when you said 'loving someone who doesn't love you back'?"

   A slight blush appeared on Ginny's cheeks. "Well, let me tell you're not the only one dancing around with other guy's to forget", she mumbled with a sad smile.

   "What - ?"

   "I well aware about you and Zabini", she cut Lynnea off. "Demelza told me, she stumbled across the two of you in one of the secret passageways. You know the moment Harry will find out, Zabini is dead."

   "Just don't tell him", Lynnea sighed.

   "Is he the one who made an abstract artwork of your face?", Ginny asked, cocking an eyebrow, and as Lynnea didn't reply, she said: "You don't need to answer anyways, I heard of Zabini is kind of ... rough."

   "Just don't tell anyone. Most importantly you shouldn't tell Fred", Lynnea whispered.

   "I won't", her friend told her. "But you should. If I'm going to get the two of you back together, you shouldn't start it with a lie."

•••

   "What the hell happened with you?", Harry hissed at Lynnea during Potions. Slughorn had put the two siblings together for teamwork, and Lynnea could feel Blaise's sharp gazes on her. Her face was swollen and blue from when he hit her. Her throat was sore and red, from where his grip had tightened later, when he finally took, what he wanted.

   "Quidditch practice", Lynnea mumbled back. "Fell off my broom."

   "And someone caught you with their hand in your face?", he whispered. "I can see the outline of a hand, Lynn. Who did this to you?"

   "No one, just leave it", she muttered and put some flies in the cauldron. It's color changed to a deep black.

   The thing was, when he hurt her, she felt okay. She didn't mind about the pain, took it as the righteous punishment to let someone else than Fred touch her. She deserved the pain. She deserved Blaise Zabini.

   "Was it Malfoy?", Harry asked sharply.

"Don't be stupid, of course not", Lynnea hissed back. "Shut up now, I'm concentrating."

   Surprisingly, Harry had become a genius at Potions. He brew every single one of them perfectly. His nose was always stuck in his potions book, Lynnea once noticed some hand scribbled notes between the lines. She asked him, what it was that he's written into the book, but her brother just replied with a "Nothing", and left it with that. So she didn't think she had to answer him his questions properly.

   "If I'll find out, whoever had done this to you, I'll kill him", Harry whispered in a dangerously low voice. Lynnea didn't reply. He'd never find out.

   But no one would leave her alone with it, everybody kept asking her what happened and Lynnea was so exhausted and annoyed at the end of the day, that she threw her bag in the corner and flung herself on the couch in front of the fireplace, sighing.

   "I know, what he's doing to you", a voice behind her said quietly. She snapped her head around and met the grey eyes of Draco, staring down at her, before he came around and sat down next to her. "You need to stop that, Lynn."

   "You know nothing", she whispered. As he was close to her now, she noticed the deep dark shadows under his eyes, and he was pale, paler than usual, as if he was seriously ill. "Pansy didn't let you get much sleep, huh? Looks like she's sucking the life out of you."

"I hate her", he breathed. "But at least she doesn't beat me up. Why don't you fight back?"

   Lynnea stared into the flames for a while. Then she said so quiet she for a second doubted that she was actually speaking: "Because I don't mind. When he hits me, I feel alive." Her eyes widened and shot to Draco, who was watching her with a strange expression. "Sorry, that's stupid, I don't even know, why I told you that. It's just ... It's too much. Everything is too much. I can't handle it anymore." He was about to lay an arm around her shoulder, but she snapped: "Don't!" and he frowned. "He'll kill me", Lynnea whispered. "I'm his. If I let you touch me, he'll beat the shit out of me. He almost strangled me, when he found out I was writing my friends." Instinctively her hand shot to her throat, still feeling his firm grip on her, cutting off the air ...

   "I thought you don't mind?" He cocked an eyebrow at her.

   "I don't want it to escalate ..."

   "I know, it's none of my business", Draco said and got back on his feet. "But you shouldn't let him do that. You deserve better. Whatever Weasley had done to make you feel that worthless, forget about it and be yourself again."

   Lynnea watched him as he left, walking over to Pansy and leading her to his room.

   Why the hell was everything so fucked up?