Something More

Let me just start by saying that what Alyssa did was completely wrong and unjustifiable by any means, but hear me out when I tell you that there is more to who she is than. what she has done, or the monster that you all perceive her to be.

You all may see her as a demon that spawned straight from hell, but in reality she is just another teenager trying to figure out this obstacle course that we call life, and she is still my best friend. We would joke and laugh and dread doing our school work. She genuinely loved being able to simply have a good time, surrounded by all of the friends that she cared about the most, much like any other teenager.

However, Alyssa has been a generally distressed person for most of the time that I've known her, and over this past year she has become exponentially worse. I'll never forget all of the nights that I would spend at her house and she would scream that she wanted to die while I desparately tried to convince her that life would be worth continuing as I fought all of the tears streaming down my own face. While she may have appeared to be happy to everyone else, behind closed doors she endured endless physical and emotional abuse as well as neglect from her parents who were consistantly in and out of prison, on top of trying to fight her endless battles with depression and anxiety.

She always felt like she had nowhere to turn to, even when I stood right beside her. She thought that self harm was the only way that she could cope with her problems. She was convinced that the drugs and the pills were all her friends.

I couldn't blame her for being so private all of the time, considering that whenever she would try to call out for help, everyone would only shoot her down. The other kids would call her names like "emo freak" or "attention whore". Even her own grandmother told her to "just get over herself" and her doctor had the nerve to tell her that it was "just a phase" and that she would "grow out of it". I could see why she thought that there was no one that she could trust, but I just wish that she knew just how much I care about her, and that I wanted more than anything to be able to help her. But I just couldn't.

There was this one time at a birthday party, almost a year ago, when she pulled me aside and began expressing how she had always wondered what it felt like to kill someone, just out of the blue. I didn't take her seriously of course, and I never in a million years would have thought that it would come to this. It had never once crossed my mind that this girl who always had my back and would risk her life for me, would be the same girl being arrested today for murdering her nine year old neighbor.

Nothing about what Alyssa has done is acceptable, and her past does not jusitfy it. But maybe this all could have been prevented. Maybe if society was more caring, nurturing and accepting of those who suffer from severe depression, maybe she would have never been pushed to this point, and maybe Elizabeth would still be alive.

She's not a monster, she is a fifteen year old girl who has been corrupted by society. She doesn't need the death penalty, she needs help. Maybe if you took the time to help her reform she could someday make something better of herself and fullfill all of her potential of having a happy life after her recovery.

My condolences go out to the Olten family, and I am deeply sorry for their loss. Just please, please just spare Alyssa's life.