*Justin’s POV*
When we started talking about Jazmyn and Jaxon I saw Selena’s expression and I can tell how hurt she was. She quickly changed the subject and I knew something was wrong but I didn’t bother asking about it. If she wanted to talk to me about it she would.
“Do you wanna go upstairs? It’s kinda boring down here.” Selena said interrupting my thoughts.
“Yeah, ok. Sure.” We headed up the stairs and into her room. I saw her journal where she wrote her songs on the bed so I pointed to it as I sat down on the bed. “Can you sing something from here?” I asked.
“They’re not really good.” She frowned.
“I’m sure they’re not that bad.” I laughed and she shook her head no. “C’mon, please?”
“I don’t think you get it Justin. All my songs have meaning. I don’t just write for fun.” She said getting a little defensive.
“I’ve written songs before, I know they all have meaning. Please just sing one?” I can tell Selena had been through a lot and the only way to truly know all she was feeling was to listen to her songs. Maybe this would help me get to know her a little better. Sure, she had told me about her epilepsy but I can tell there were a whole lot of other things she wasn’t telling me.
“Alright fine, I’ll sing one song.” She said finally giving in. “But I’m choosing it.” She picked up the journal from the bed and started flipping through the pages until she found the one she wanted to sing.
She went to the corner where her guitar was and she picked it up before walking back to her bed and sitting down. “Don’t laugh.” She said.
“I won’t.” I chuckled and she started strumming the guitar.
“Ugh wait, it’s out of tune.” She rolled her eyes. “Could you pass me the tuner over there?” She asked pointing to the tuner that was sitting on her night stand. I reached over and picked it up, handing it to her.
After a few minutes the guitar was finally tuned and she started strumming it again.
“Maybe it was your fault, I’d like someone to blame. I hope you know because of you I’ll never let anyone in.” She began singing the lyrics to her own song. I honestly didn’t know why this girl wasn’t famous yet. She was an amazing singer and an amazing songwriter.
She continued singing and then came the chorus. “Trust me it’s not easy once you have been made out to be amazing for a minute, exciting for an hour, a week if I was lucky to have you stick around. You pushed me to my limit and basically succeeded. ‘Cause forever I’ll believe that the best I’ll be for now is amazing for a minutes.”
She continued singing and there was one verse where she just sang it with so much passion.“Honestly it’s selfish feeling sorry for myself. But truthfully I’m past the point of trying to overcome self doubt.”
She ended up singing the whole song and when she finished I clapped. She looked down and let her hair fall in her face to hide the fact that she was blushing.
“Wow Selena, that’s amazing!” I exclaimed.
“Really?” She asked shocked. “Thank you! I only wrote it like a week ago!” She laughed.
“Well it’s really good. Why aren’t you famous yet? My gosh, you’re so talented!” I smiled.
“Like I said not everyone has it as easy as you.” She sighed.
“You should at least try to get yourself out there. To get known.”
“I have tried!” She yelled annoyed. “It’s just not that easy. I have reasons for not putting myself out there.”
“And what are your reasons?” I asked curiously.
“Just reasons, ok? I don’t want to talk about it.” She replied as she got up from her bed and put her guitar back in the corner. She had a lot of secrets. I can tell. And this song? It obviously meant something.
She sat back down on the bad and turned my body so that my face was facing hers and we looked into each other’s eyes. “Look Selena, I don’t know much about you and I don’t know everything you’ve been through but you can trust me, ok?”
“No Justin, it’s not that easy. I can’t just trust someone I just met. You wouldn’t understand.” She sighed. “Look, I’ve just been hurt too many times to tell you everything. Last time I let someone in it didn’t go good. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry but just know that if you ever need someone to talk to I’m here. You have my number. Call me even if it’s four in the morning.” I kissed her one last time before leaving.
It was obvious our conversation was going nowhere so I just needed to leave. I don’t think she realized how much I liked her but I did. I hope when we kissed it actually meant something to her and I wasn’t just another guy that she’ll fuck around with.
*Selena’s POV*
Justin left. He just left. He kissed me and he left. I felt bad though. He really seemed like he cared and I was just pushing him away. That’s what I was good at. Pushing people away.
I was just scared of getting hurt again. I had been hurt before and I was scared to let anyone in. I wanted to tell Justin everything. But I was scared.
It wasn’t fair to him though. I had no right to not trust him. But most guys were nice at first and then their true colors would show and I was scared about that.
If I could I’d tell him everything about myself. I’d tell him why I changed the subject when it came to talking about siblings. I’d tell him why I lost all my friends. I’d tell him why I can’t trust anyone. But I can’t… not right now anyways.
‘I’m sorry.’ I sighed and texted him back, afraid to see what he had to say.
