Chapter 17: Missing

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I pull the last suitcase to the foyer and walk into the living room. She's wearing jeans, a black tank top, and her leather jacket. She has on her black combat boots too. Her brown hair is left down and natural. She looks tired as she hugs everyone goodbye.

When she pulls away from the last person, Josh, she looks down at the floor. Noemie is chewing on a block.

"Mama!" Noemie squeals loudly and claps her slobbery hands together. A tear rolls down Odeletta's cheek, but she wipes it away. Everyone is just quiet. It's like we're mourning her death or something. She crouches down to Noemie and lifts her onto her feet, holding her up.

"Hey Emie." Odette smiles sadly. "Mama's going away for a while, okay? But Daddy will be here to take care of you and I promise I will call every time I can."

She knows Noemie might not remember her when she gets home. She knows Noemie will be walking when she gets home.

Who knows how long she will be gone for.

Who knows who she's going to come home as.

She hugs Noemie tightly and kisses her head. A horn honks outside and she looks up.

She sets Noemie down and walks over to Raylen, who is sitting with big legos. He is too little to fully understand what's going on.

"Hey buddy." Odeletta smiles. "Mama is going away for a little while, okay?"

"Okay." He says. "And when you come him you and Daddy will be okay again?"

We already are okay. There's a mutual understanding now. The anger is gone and our relationship is normal, or as normal as it can get.

"That's the plan." Odeletta smiles.

He stands up and throws his little arms around her neck. She holds him tightly.

"I'll call every night." She promises.

"Okay."

"Be good for Daddy, promise you will be good."

"I promise."

"Pinkie promise?" She holds out her pinky. He locks hers with his. She kisses his cheek and hugs him again, and then she stands up, walking over to me.

She stops just in front of me, her chin trembling as she tries to hold in tears.

I swallow the lump in my throat and pull her into a hug. Her hands fist my t-shirt. I bury my face in her hair, clinging to her.

She pulls away after a minute, looking up at me. I brush a few tears off her cheeks and give her a small smile.

"What if you meet somebody while I'm gone?" She whispers.

"I won't."

"But what if you do?"

"I won't."

"But-"

"I won't." I insist softly. "But if you meet somebody..." I ignore the stabbing pain in my chest. "I'll back off." I whisper.

"Nathan..." she trails off.

I smile.

"The whole point of this is for you to be happy." I whisper. "If you find somebody and you're happy, I will back off. We can work out a schedule with the kids." I nod my head firmly. "But..." I brush her hair from her face. "If you find somebody and he breaks your heart..." I smile sadly. "Well I'll be here."

"Okay." She whispers. "I will not find somebody."

"We'll see." I smile. "But I'm here." I say. "No matter what. Even if you find somebody and leave me and get pregnant and have a million babies with him, and then he breaks your heart, I'll be here even if I'm a hundred and single and wrinkling, I'll be here."

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