Sleight of Hand [Show 'em Who's Boss #1]

23: Philophobia

     The next day I turned up at Jakob’s house with three black bags full of his stuff he’d kept at my house. Although this was part of the plan, for once it felt real. I was going to do it this time. I was going to cut Jakob out of my life for good. He had shown me that he still can’t be trusted and I knew that I had to do something about that.

    As expected, Mary answered the door.

     “Hey Ebony!” she exclaimed. “Do you want a hot chocolate? Mum’s in the kitchen making some right now. We’ve got marshmallows too.”

     She was all kitted out in a thick winter coat, scarf, hat and gloves, her nose still a little pink from being out in the cold. She was smiling up at me and I suddenly felt guilty for not spending enough time with her recently.

    I walked further into the hallway and closed the front door behind me. Outside it was beginning to snow.

     “I’d love to stay for hot chocolate but I’m actually in a hurry at the moment. Thanks for the offer though. I’ll come back another day to spend some time with you. Is Jakob here?”

    Her smile faded. “Yeah, he’s upstairs in a bad mood. Don’t go up there. He’ll yell at you.”

    “Did he yell at you?” I asked a little too aggressively. It just makes me so angry whenever I discover that he’s upset her in some way. He’s such a useless brother.

    “No,” she lied. I could tell because her voice went a little higher pitch than usual.

     “I’ll go tell him off for you,” I replied. “He shouldn’t have shouted at you when I’m the one to blame. It’s my fault that he’s in a bad mood.”

     “What did you do to upset him?”

     I begun to climb the stairs, awkwardly carrying the three black sacks full of his things, and Mary followed me up them. I didn’t want to tell her what had happened because it might upset her but, much like me, she’s very persistent in discovering the truth. With the experience of what it feels like to constantly be lied to I don’t want to lie to her, but she’s different. I don’t know how my response will affect her and I certainly don’t want to upset her.

     “Well, we argued and now we’re not together anymore.”

     “Like mummy and daddy?” she asked.

     “Yes, I suppose so.”

     “Does that mean you’re going to leave and I’ll never see you again?”

     I paused halfway up the stairs, suddenly full of guilt. Throughout all of my planning I had become even more selfish than I already was. I hadn’t taken into account how this would affect anyone but my father. It was going to break Mary’s heart if I left and never returned. It would’ve been even worse if everything went to plan and I left town with Jakob.

     In that moment I knew that I probably wasn’t going to leave town for good. I’d come back to visit Mary as often as possible, just because I didn’t want to break her heart. I supposed it depended on how everything turned out in the end though. If I succeed in cutting Jakob and Jamie out of the deal then it might be dangerous for me to return.

     “Don’t worry. Just because I’ve broken up with Jakob, doesn’t mean that I won’t come here to see you,” I reassured her as I continued to the top of the stairs.

     I wanted to tell her more. It would be best to tell her that if I leave then she shouldn’t worry because I’d come back to see her no matter what, but I couldn’t give anyone clues that I might be leaving town. It could ruin my whole plan. Mary was good at keeping secrets but it was far too risky to tell her just in case the news got back to someone like my father or Steve.