Sleight of Hand [Show 'em Who's Boss #1]

28: Phobophobia

As you might've guessed, Jakob did not die on his third and final turn. Nothing happened. He places the gun on the table and slides it across to me, looking rather solemn. I slump down in my seat, overwhelmed with defeat.

     "Your turn," he mutters.

     I look him dead in the eyes, trying to detect the emotions behind them. Is he happy now? Now that he knows I'm going to die and he gets to keep the goddamn money? He's finally going to get what he's wanted from the start.

     I purse my lips and reach across for the gun. It suddenly feels a lot heavier, as though weighed down by the outcome that's about to happen. Strangely though, I don't feel as scared as I should. Perhaps it's because I'd guessed that this would happen from the start. Perhaps it's because I have a feeling that things might not happen as expected in the next few minutes.

     "Ready to take your turn?" he asks, a slight smirk playing on his lips. That was enough to ignite the anger within me.

     "Shut up you prick. I'm about to fucking kill myself. Can't you save the smirks until after I'm dead and gone?" I spit back at him, the venom clear in my tone. In that second there's no one I hate more than Jakob Darke.

     His smirk doesn't fade at all. I look away from him, drawing my attention back to the gun in my hands. This will be quick. All I have to do is hold it to my head and pull the trigger. It'll be over before I know it's happened.

     I can't seem to convince myself that it'll all be okay, though. Inside I'm crumbling, the walls of bravery shattering to pieces. My breathing quickens, my pulse goes insane. I'm shaking and it destroys me just knowing that Jakob has the sweet satisfaction of witnessing my fall. I realise now just how fucking terrified I am and how I'm ashamed of it. Isn't that ironic? I'm a girl that's too afraid to show she's afraid. Screw normal fears.

     I look up at Jakob again and then quickly back at the gun. Is there a way to get out of this situation or have I left it too long to escape? I've already pulled the pregnancy card; do I have any excuses left?

     No, it's time for me to stop running. Let's just get this over with.

     It takes a lot of strength to flick the safety off and put the gun to my head, but I manage.

     "Is this where you say something totally cliché? Like any last words? How does it feel to know that you've lost?" I try to joke with a light tone but my voice wobbles terribly.

     "Do you want to answer any of those questions?" he replies looking slightly amused.

     "Hmm, last words, how about these: you're an absolute dick. Screw you. When you finally die I hope you rot in hell. My father too. If you see him, let him know just how much I hate him. Tell him that I'll never forgive him. Oh, and you had both better stay away from James Morrisby because I just know he'll get my revenge for me."

     "Is that it?" he says sarcastically.

     "Well I don't know, do I? It's not like I woke up his morning and thought, hmm, you know what, I might need a whole shopping list of last words by tonight. Better get writing!" I replied, echoing his sarcasm. "Tell you what, Jakob. I'll leave you with this short and simple response: congrats."

     And with that I pull the trigger and say goodbye to the world of the living.

    Well, I did say goodbye, but nothing happened. In a state of confusion I pull the trigger a few more times. Still nothing.

   "What the actual fuck?" I cry, glaring at the gun.

    "Well, that's a pretty odd response from someone who's just cheated death." My eyes flash to Jakob's and everything clicks together before he has to say another word. There was no bullet in the gun throughout the whole game. He took it out and allowed me to think this whole thing was real. He'd sat there smirking as I believed I was about to die. He might not have allowed me to die, but this is almost as bad. The real game here was the one where he screwed with my head for the last half an hour.