HER - BTS LOVE YOURSELF (theories)

Namjoon

I remember balancing work and enjoying what my youth gave, but it never ended well.

We were just boys living life, having little fights and forgiving each other, few punches were thrown but a little ice and good old comfort food would help.

But it doesn't end like that.

I never picked the phone.

Just let it rang day and night, watching the scream light up with their names. A picture of them.

"Jimin"

"Jimin left a message"

"Jimin left a voicemail"

"Missed call:Jimin"

"V"

I never picked up.

Jimin, what can I say, we thought we were helping, I didn't know you went through shit, you told me, you told us you were fine, that the medicine was helping, but you lied, your mum made us lie, amazing right?

I never picked up, didn't want myself telling you how your mum was going to see you, she did but you weren't alive.

Maybe if I picked up and asked how you really were, you could of been here with me, with us.

I dream of a room with mirrors, staring at my face, endlessly staring at the selfish boy, a reflection of my hopes and dreams.

I hear the telephone ringing, I dream of the glass box chained up, as the phone rang, your screams filling my ears, but when I finally break the glass and pick up.

I hear nothing

Nothing

An endless nothing

Not even a breath

Just empty silence

I couldn't take it

Then when I finally wake up from the nightmares I'm in reality were I keep losing the ones I love.

Taehyung called me that day, I was working, I remember throwing my phone away and going back to the petrol station.

But I did understand, we smiled and had fun that night, joking around but I didn't know he would go that far, I didn't want to grow up but he took his life for god sake, what was going through his mind.

It was school, now work, it doesn't help

Stress upon stress, loss upon loss what do I do?

Jin, I wonder if he was the only one grown up, I grew up too, accepting the wrongs and goods.

So Jimin, hey I finally answered, I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you, remember I love you, maybe we can see each other soon.

"Hey it's Jimin, you know what to do"

I'm sorry Jimin, you shouldn't have lied and I shouldn't have either.

But I'll call again okay?

***********

It was eight in the morning, I took the polystyrene cup and the lolipop from the table, the sour and sweet flavour bursted in my mouth, it was too sweet, in the morning, I threw it into the drink and walked away, I threw the spare plastic on the floor, I imagined it was a cigarette falling on the floor, a habit an adult takes but yet I am still a child.

Time goes by as I stand in the cold night, my phone in my pocket the lolipop in my other.

A car came by, a one I remember, the window rolled down and there sat Jin, smiling, he handed me a lighter.

"What's this?"

"Memories haunt us, it's just me passing on light, you've grown up, now it's your time to choose" he drove away leaving me in confusion.

Till this day, I still wonder why?

When I follow that girl, she reminds me of him. She left her hair band on the bus, wanted to return it but, in my heart, once I give that away, I lose everything.

I always see the graffiti on the walls. I remember the times I had with him. A rebel.

We grew up

Grew apart

But we will meet up soon

Not today

But maybe tomorrow

We are never young forever

(This was written quickly I haven't updated sorry)