My Stalker (Rewriting)

Chapter 35

You can play the song now

"One more push! One final push! C'mon Julia, you can do it." 

Those were the only words that I could make out from the doctor in front of me. I screamed. My vision blurred and I knew I was sweating and crying. I dug my nails into Will's hand. He was standing right next to me and I could tell that he was crying because after every cry of pain that came out of my mouth, I could always feel a drop of water that landed on my arm. 

The pain wouldn't subside and it felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach. The pain was unbearable. Then after one final push, everything was over.

Until it was pitch black.

Everything was buzzing. A straight buzz that was absolutely deafening. After moments of waiting for the deafening sound to subside, I could hear the calm heart beat monitor, beating slowly and was synchronized with the rising and falling of my chest like a little metronome. 

It was still blurry and I tried my best to see clearly but my eyes hurt. But I could still see my little angel. 

Will kissed the top of my head and whispered softly into my ears, "You did it..."

My angel was crying. The doctor gave my little light to me. I was crying as I held her close to my heart, letting her soft ears hear the slow beating of my heart. 

Then I began to sing softly to my little bundle of joy, so soft that if I ever raised my voice at the gift that was sent from God to me, it would break. I thought that this wasn't real. But the miracle that is resting in my arms convinced me that I wasn't dreaming and that all of this is true. 

The little rising and falling of my child's chest made me look up and mouth my greatest thank you.

May these words be the first to find your ears...

The world is brighter than the sun, now that you're here.

Though your eyes would need some time to adjust to the overwhelming light surrounding us...

I'll give you everything I have, I'll teach you everything I know... I promise, I'll do better...

I will always hold you close and I will learn to let you go... I promise, I'll do better.

I will soften every edge, hold the world to its best... and I'll do better.

With every heartbeat I have left, I'll defend your every breath, and I'll do better. 

'Cause you are loved. You are loved more than you know

Being a mother is learning about the strengths you didn't know you had , and dealing with fears you didn't know existed. 

For nine long months I carried you, waiting for the day I could hold you in my arms. My body grew, my skin stretched, I had aches and pains and the strangest cravings. 

But it was all worth it.

You said hello to the world and I'm amazed by your beauty and overwhelmed by my love for you. 

I had sleep deprivation, my house never stayed tidy and I often questioned myself if I did anything right. 

But it was all worth it.

Yes, my body changed, but it created life and that's amazing. 

I know I would love you with all I am.  

I love you more than you will ever know, now and for all eternity, my little Juliana...'

Love, Mommy ♥