It sounds so cliché, but maybe it's true. I do it every time. I would think that I'd learn, but I never do. My mind creates beautiful scenarios that I believe so deeply to be true, but the reality is things are not as it seems. Feelings have faded, if there are any at all, and people are not who I thought they were.
Maybe I should have listened when you said, "you deserve better," or, "save your feelings for someone else." All this time I was blaming you for something I did to myself a long time ago. It's my fault.
Why do I do this to myself? Why do I create these images in my mind to the point I believe them so deeply? I dig myself into a deep hole and hurt my own self. I set myself on fire and expect someone else to extinguish the flames. You did this to yourself.
I have always chosen to see passed the bad in people when they ever so clearly showed me they are no good for me. Maybe that's my problem. I want everybody to be good and think like me, but we know that's never going to happen. Somewhere inside me is a little girl clinging on for dear life which makes me so naïve to someone's toxic and vicious ways. You're hopeless.
Maybe it's time for me to stop breaking my own heart and seeing things for what they really are. Maybe I should let this innocence die and see the world and people for what they really are: cruel, ugly, and inconsistent.
So what is the harsh reality in my own life? People come and go, feelings fade, and I need not to expect too much to the point where I create these beautiful lies inside my head. That, my dear, is my harsh reality.
