My beloved Grayson,
Because I never knew my father, I had to learn to love a man. My brother and I grew up with a mother who is barely home, even though she tries to be. We were never told that we were loved, despite our mother's deeds. But, we were just kids. And I guess we needed to hear it every now and then.
It wasn't easy, giving in, showing people that I have feelings. It's stupid to say that, though. We all have feelings, some of us are just better at hiding them. Gray, you will never know how hard it was for me to love myself before I could give my heart to you.
I struggled, fought with myself on a daily basis, because I knew, that you have to love yourself before you are ready to love someone else. As a result, I realised you don't love yourself. I changed, I became a better version of myself to be with someone like you. You, on the other hand, told me you loved me, told me so many things, all of them I believed.
If you did love yourself, if you did love me, you would have never done what you did. God, was I wrong when I lied to myself, when I tried to convince myself that you would never hurt me the way you did.
It took me a while to realise that it wasn't my fault, it was not that I was a bad girlfriend, not that I didn't deserve you, but the other way around. I'm not going to blame you for our relationship falling to pieces, though. Communication had been a problem from the start and none of us bothered to try to change that. At least, Grayson, at least, I respected, loved and gave my all to you.
I hope you have an amazing life.
Sincerely,
Luci.
YOU ARE READING
Secret Garden (Grayson Dolan)
FanfictionMost stories have a purpose, even if some are stronger than others, they are being told for a reason, whatsoever. I do not have a good reason to tell you about him, other than the weight on my shoulders, other than self pity and guilt. So bear with...
