Hidden Bruises (vhope)

18

Waking up on the kitchen floor was something i was used to. Getting knocked out by my dad strangely often happened in the kitchen, but it wasn't because of my parents this time.

My cheeks went red recalling last nights events. Everything taehyung said... The kiss. It seemed so surreal. I sat their thinking about it untill someone snapped me out of my daze.

"Hoseok! What are you doing on the floor"

"Oh. Sorry ms.kim" i said. I dragged myself to my feet, i stumbled around till i landed on the living room couch. I was hungry. I wanted to smoke. I was tired. I needed something to take my mind off of everything. Tae's mom walked to the living room.

"Are you feeling okay hoseok?" she asked. I nodded. "You sure, you don't have to go to school tomorrow if your feeling sick."

I was about to deny her offer, despite how shit i felt. But then i had an idea.

"I guess i do feel a bit sick. Are you working that day?" i asked.

" yeah. If you really don't feel well, i trust you can stay home by yourself" she said. That was her mistake. Never trust what a suicidal kid says. Its all lies.

" ok." i said. " could i get a few painkillers for my headache?" i asked.

"Sure. You know where to find them". I walked to the upstairs bathroom to fake getting some Tylenol. Who new getting out of school would be so easy. I was already hatching many plans for how to destroy myself further.

The door was already open to the restroom, and inside was a messy haired taehyung brushing his teeth.

" oh, hoseok" he said. He spit out the toothpaste, and began to rinse off the toothbrush. " what.. Are you doing" his voice went softer, he seemed confused. I guess he noticed how terrible i looked.

" i was gonna get some Tylenol for my headache" i said. I shoved past him to open the cabinet, reaching for a red and white pill bottle labeled with the pain killers name.

"Oh" he said. I took 2 and swallowed them dry. It was awkward between us. I didn't know what our relationship was anymore. More importantly i didn't know what to say after what happened last night. My growling stomach interrupted my thoughts. " when was the last time you ate anything?" taehyung asked.

" i dont know" i replied. " 2 days ago maybe". His eyes widened.

" hoseok!" he said. " you cant keep doing this kind of thing to yourself. Ill grab you something, wait in the bedroom". He jumped out of the room.

Complying with taehyungs orders, I sat on my matress in our room. I took out the pins from my pocket. They had been there all night. I placed them under my bed these i usually store my blades. Soon taehyung was back with a plate full of toast and eggs.

"Here" taehyung said. He handed me the food and a fork. I picked up the toast and took a bite. It was so amazing. It tasted so good after days of not eating. No offense, but How do anorexics do it?

The eggs where made just how i liked them. I stabbed my fork into them and scarfed them up. It was like heaven after not eating for so long.

" thanks tae" i said. Taehyung reached in his pocket. Inside was a folded piece of paper. He handed it to me. "Whats this?" i asked.

" its ... Nothing. Im gonna go downstairs. Please read it carefully". He ran down the steps with a blush on his cheeks. I set aside the plate and fork, and stared at the note. The front side had my name written on it in fancy letters. I hesitatingly opened the folds...

Dear hoseok,

          After the past week im sure you've already figured out what this letter is for. I've spent so long holding this back, but i just cant anymore. I love you hoseok. As in, i want us to go out. Like boyfriend's. I've liked you for a while, even when all this crazy shit happened with you, i still couldn't help but love you. It hurt me so much to see you feeling so bad. If you trust me i promise i will be a great boyfriend, and. I will be sure to help you every step of the way.

Love,
Kim taehyung

I... Cant believe it..how long has he.. Felt this way. How could anyone still love me when im like this. I felt 2 emotions at that time. Happiness. Happy that someone cares and loves me. Happy that i finally feel accepted. But i also felt terrible. Im not worth accepting. I will just bring him down. But i wanted it so bad.

I wanted to say yes. I don't even know why. I didn't start to like taehyung, or at least realize my feelings untill that day in the hospital. That was only a week ago. Plus taehyung will just be unhappy. I've already made his life miserable. I didn't know what to do...