For a moment, I felt butterflies in my stomach but reality set in and I was soon opening the window for him.
He had his thick fur coat as he hold on tight to the window pan. He literally brought a ladder and climbed to my window.
"What are you doing?" I half yelled, half laughed.
"I had to see you," he panted as soon as he hopped inside. "Not passing my birthday without you. Nope."
"I," I started.
"I know you wouldn't come. It was worth the try," he smiled as he took his coat off. He glanced around my room and grinned as he pointed to a giant picture of me and Johan when we were young. "You guys were so cute."
"Thanks," I said but my tone was as dry as the sahara desert. Sitting on my bed, I stared at my feet when Tim sat next to me.
"I'm sorry," his caramel eyes searched for mine.
"You don't have to apologize about the kiss," I managed to reply, my tears welling up at the corner of my eyes.
Sitting by his side, breathing in lemon scent from his shampoo, hearing his sweet gentle voice, I felt like dreaming.
I imagined myself being grilled on fire in hell but loving it the same time. I wanted to unlove him but I wanted to love him at the same time.
"I don't regret kissing you, Quinn. I still remember how soft your lips felt and how my ears burn when our tongue briefly met."
"What are you saying," I instantly replied in embarrassment, trying not to sound surprised and happy at the same time. Who knew he could say those things with such a face.
My cheeks felt hot when he leaned in to kiss my cheek. "I love you."
It felt like eternity as his words hung in the air. We stared into eachother's souls, letting the silence spoke for itself.But when he grabbed my hand and leaned in to kiss me, a tear slipped.
Was it a sad or a happy tear? I wasn't sure.
"I love your voice," he said after we broke our kiss. His eyes seemed dazed yet excited. "I heard you sang."
I smiled shyly and watched him went to grab my guitar.
"Sing a song for me," I pushed the guitar back to him when he attempted to give it to me. "I want to hear you sing."
"Ok,fine," he smiled softly. "I will sing 'I love you so' by the Walters."
"You know that song?" I said in surprised.
He pinched my cheek before started drumming the strings. "Of course, it's my favorite."
"I am not so good at singing. Sing with me," he added.
I just need someone in my life to give it structure
To handle all the selfish ways I spend my time without her
You're everything I want but I can't deal with all your lovers
You're sayin' I'm the one but it's your actions that speak louder
Giving me your love when you are down and need another
I've gotta get away and let you go, I gotta get over
But I love you so
I love you so
I love you so
I love you so
"Tim," I cut in the song, my heart beat in my throat. "If you love me then what about the princess?"
He stared at me silently, his eyes grazed and harden. "Can you love two persons at the same time?"
I bit my lip, repeating the question inside my head like it would save my life. Maybe it would save a piece of my heart.
"Can you?"
"In my case," he opened and closed his eyes briefly. "I can't."
His words hung in the air, played in my ears and stuck in my mind. I didn't want to look too happy or too sad because honestly, I didn't know what expression was appropriate.
"I can," I said.
Tim furrowed his brow questioningly, in his eyes I could see a brief moment of jealousy but then he realized just who I was talking about.
"You're lucky then," he smirked, leaning in to kiss the tip of my nose. "I'm lucky too cause I love you."
"I'm glad."
"Do you love me?"
"I do. I love you," I brushed, giving him a lopsided smile. "I confessed my love in the storage room and you rejected me."
"I didn't. I just couldn't answer you," he pouted, his hair brushing the side of my cheek when he rested his head on my shoulder. "My head was in a mess. I couldn't tell you I was falling in love."
For eternity, it seemed ,before I asked that question that had been bothering me. "Will you still marry her?"
This time I knew he had the answer as he let the silence destroyed us both but he still couldn't say it.
Tears slipped down my cheeks faster than I realized. I had to bite my lips as to not make any sound.
He grabbed my hand and started kissing my knuckles like a lullaby helping to dry up my tears.
"What ever make you happy," I breathed as I sensed the end of tonight and the end of us. "Tim, I hope you're happy."
