A Pirate's Life For Me

Moving On

The paper sack thuds against my legs.

My body aches. Every muscle groans in discomfort, every step a loosing battle that I'm only fighting because I don't know how to stop. My feet fit into the same cavities they've filled twice a day since, pushing stones aside from my seven-day path.

Thud.

Thud.

Every day, to go recount my sins.

Thud.

Every day, to try to let them know that I cannot tell them how sorry I am.

Thud.

Every day, the gate remains locked.

I'm frankly not surprised. Until today, I hadn't even seen any of them, except from a distance, through the silhouette in a window. Until today, when William got close enough for me to see Gracie in his arms, her face tucked into his chest so that she didn't have to see me. Will didn't have the decency. The hate hurt worse than the fear.

Thud.

Thud.

I should shift hands, swap the bag into my other arm. I don't. My shoulder screams in protest, calf burning from the growing bruise, but I don't. The pain is my punishment. Egg cartons don't hurt. I'm weak enough that it punishes me.

Thud.

I don't bother to lift my head as a front door slams, don't bother to try to hide from the clank of metal.

If they see me, they'll take me. They won't go after the siblings anymore, and my problems will be solved. Colette regards me warily now, anyways, trying to start polite conversation, but I know it's just out of pity. I ignore her and she leaves me alone. And Jackson has made his decision, deciding to believe that I am simply protecting them for my reputation. I don't mind much. I no longer have to fight him, and if I don't expect anything I can't get hurt by disappointment. I've moved to Declan's study, anyway. There, I can work and make Declan his meals without bothering their structured, untainted life. Without me, Icas won't go after them. It's a win-win. Besides, Icas can't have too much in store for me. All he wanted to know about was where Hazelton was, and I gave him that before I soiled his good name. I'm dirty laundry to him now.

Hell, when was I ever clean?

"The house is clear, sir."

Thud.

"Good work; move on to the next one."

Thud.

"Yes, sir! Move out!"

Thud.

I pause.

Through my hair, I catch a glimpse of Tall and Spindly watch a small group of soldiers march in formation down the street.

Thud.

Thud.

It clicks.

House checks.

I quicken my step, moving to the rut in the road, head bent further than before. Wait until the perfect moment...and then I run, dashing across the road as every solider disappears inside the Blue Lily.

I mutter a little prayer for Ryan as I pass.

The door to the bar slams against the other wall, probably leaving a dent, and I haul the eggs onto the table next to me. They crack, but my bones are louder.