bones • l . h + a . i

00

ten more, come on fatass, no-one got skinny by not doing ten more measly sit ups

ashtons body was screaming at him to stop, his stomach was screaming at him to eat and his mind, well his mind was just screaming

just another five, do it, five more

five four three two one

tears were streaming down his face, all ashton wanted was to be thin like luke, for his thighs to stay still when he walked like calums or to be as confident and outgoing as michael

to be perfect like his best friends

but instead he was fat and a disgrace to look at

ashton was doing his best to change it, he really was. he'd stopped eating breakfast and lunch, allowing himself a small dinner thrice a week, exercising to the point where he often passed out and drank nothing but water and the occasional bottle of liquor when he just wanted everything to be quiet.

yet he had seen no results

he was still as shapeless as before, no muscle definition, definitely not skinny. just a mess.

tonight, he was punishing himself severely with an extremely harsh exercise regime. he'd had no other choice but to eat a slice of pizza whilst out with his family, passing off the lack of appetite as feeling ill. but he hadn't been able to throw it back up again as his younger brother insisted they go to the beach.

press ups now, one hundred flat out. no stops. you shouldn't have eaten that fucking pizza. do you have any idea how many calories are in that slice?

ashton screamed loud. he knew how many it was, the damned number was emblazoned on the menu next to the options.

three hundred and forty

three hundred and forty calories

three hundred and forty mistakes all swallowed down his throat and sitting heavy in his stomach. waiting to make him fat.

he felt so guilty, no-one could understand how badly the feeling crippled him.

stop wallowing, faggot, one hundred now.

so he did them, he tried.

ever since he stepped over the threshold into his flat, he'd been determined to burn off as many sins as he could.

that was three hours ago.

but after eating nothing but water and a slice of pizza for four days, how can someone work out to such excess?

they can't

on number seventy eight, black spots danced in front of his eyes and ashton's arms buckled from beneath him leaving his torso to hit the floor and lay, unmoving, until morning.

[its three am yo, anyone like or delete?]