Dear Captain
You were once the stars that filled our night skies with light.
But now you are the thing we fear most.
We wrote songs dedicated to your greatness, to your heroism, to your ideals.
Now we burn your name to the ground.
In the Battle of Youkre Ocean you left our planet without an import and our people are starved of everything from food to money.
We, as an entire planet, are prepared to go to war with you.
Our weapons primed, locked, loaded, and aimed at your home planet, the Rain Planet.
If we ever see your ship near us, we will not hesitate to blow the shit that clogs your brain right out of the sky. And we will not hesitate to implode your home planet into a black hole.
I am not sorry to have to do this. And we, the Wind Planet, are thankful that we now have a legitimate reason to blow Kammey's head off.
- Your sworn enemie, the Wind Planet
Dear Wind Planet
Firstly, I would like to point out that you are not real.
Secondly, I must be going insane to have imagined that there is another planet other than the first 12 planets. I am pretty certain that there is not a 13th planet.
Please verify your existance as a planet before I actually respond to your supposed threat.
- Captain DoubleBlade
Dear Captain DoubleBlade
What The Fuck?!
How can you deny our existance?!
You sent a fucking ship to our planet to deliver the message that you just wrote to us!
You have really lost your mind man! I mean, what the hell happened to you?! You were a hero and know you are a pycho maniac that goes around killing people for entertainment.
For proof of our existance just follow the ship you sent to our fairly obvious planet in the sky.
- The Wind Planet
Dear Wind Planet
Wind isn't real.
- Captain DoubleBlade
Dear Jack Ass of a Captain
You're not real.
- The Wind Planet
Dear Non-Existing Planet
You're about to be annihilated.
- Captain DoubleBlade
Dear Dummy
If you did not get the message I will reiterate it: we have our weapons locked onto you!
Also, please tell the messenger guy to deliver our messages even though they are one sentence long and he has to travel a couple million miles to deliver it.
- The REAL Wind Planet
Dear NOT-Real "Wind" Planet
I smacked him a couple of times and now you have a new messanger so I hope he does better than the last.
Also, you have not proved to me that "wind" is real. What makes "wind" real? Where is the science and logic in wind.
- Capain DoubleBlade
Dear Captain
...What happened to the other messenger guy?
...Now I feel bad.
You know what. Screw it, just ignore us like an ass hole.
- The Wind Planet
Dear "Wind" Planet
I'm sorry I have no idea what a "Wind Planet" is but how did you get this address? And this better not be a prank or something.
- Captain DoubleBlade
Dear Complete Ass Hole
Fuck you.
- The Wind Planet
YOU ARE READING
Letters During Captain DoubleBlade's Time
PoesieDuring much of Ziggy's time as Captain DoubleBlade, Ziggy received many letters - especially during is more sinister years. This is a collection of letters written back and forth between Captain DoubleBlade and the people. Some are sad and som...
