I haven't talked to Jonah in a long time, about three days. I don't think he knows I have a tattoo and I haven't posted anything about it on Instagram. I actually want his approval first, I want him to be ok with me and Jack's relationship. I don't want to keep me or Jack away from him, but he has to show that he's ok with me making my own choices and not dwell on the pass. I need Jonah to understand Jack isn't Issac, he's not a bastard that only wanted to get in my pants, Jack actually loves me and I love him, I think we both made our selfs clear with the tattoos.
I woke up today in Jack's bed my with my bra still haft way off. I put my bra back all the way on and got dressed.
I walked downstairs to see all the boys live on Instagram, all but Jonah. "Hey!" they all said. "Hey! Can I join?" I asked. "Yeah sure." Jack said petting the seat next to him. I sat down. "Hey guys!" I said waving at the Live. I started reading comments and I saw people saying horrible things about me and saying I broke up Why Don't We and said I was too ugly for Jack and putting him down for going out with me. This Just made me feel worst. "Hey guys, that's not nice." Corbyn said reading comments. I started tearing up. I felt like I was getting bullied. A sharp pain in my stomach hit and I had to go. "Guys, come on be nice to Sam." Daniel said. Jack and Zach read a comment that said "Jack brake up with Sam" and then looked at each other. One tear shed and I gasp for air and then got up. "You ok Sam?" Zach asked. I shook my head and went in the kitchen. Jack followed me.
(In the kitchen)
I started pasting around.
J: Calm down, Sam
S: I can't, I can't
J: Listen to me ( he grabbed my arms and pulled me close)
S: No, Jack they were right I ruined everything
J: No Sam... (I cut him off)
S: No, we can't, first Jonah and now the followers, its not...
He cut me off with a long kiss
J: I lost you once, I won't lose you again, no matter what they say, it's me and you, not them
I hugged Jack. I wanted to feel the same, but I couldn't. I don't know why, but a voice in my head saying that I should end it with Jack and go home, Saying I could make Jonah happy again, I can make follower not yells, everything can go back to normal. But, another voice is saying stay with Jack, what he's saying is true. I can be happy with him, but he wouldn't be happy without WDW. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to die.
--------------A Little Later------------------------
I was just chilling on the couch and I see Jonah come downstairs. I wondered if I should start a conversation with him. "Hey Jonah," I said hoping he would respond. "I haven't seen you in a while." I finished. "Yeah," he said getting a water bottle and sitting on the couch. "Jonah," I said, "Why are you ignoring me and Jack?" I asked. " What did we do, I want to make this better for us. Why are you doing this to me, I love Jack and Jack love me.." I said fast but Jonah shortly cut me off. "HOW CAN YOU BE SURE, SAM?!" he said raising his voice. "Jonah, he got a tattoo of my name on his back," I said, almost shedding a tear. "Woah, really, wow," he said calming down. "I think that's a very clear understanding of who Jack is." I said. "and I wanted to show I love him, so I did the same." I said. I couldn't believe I just told him I got my first tattoo, of the boy he doesn't seem to like right now! He's going to be piss, or so I thought. "You, got a tattoo?" he asked me with a concerned face and tone. "Yeah," I said showing him the tattoo. I heard him gasp for air. "Well, what does mom think about this tattoo?" he asked raising one eyebrow. I never asked my mom nor, did I tell her I had one, last time we talked was when Jack and I first got together. "She doesn't know," I told him scared of what he might say. "YOU DIDN'T TELL HER YOU GOT YOUR FIRST TATTOO!" he screamed. "No, I didn't, I think I'm old enough to make my own decisions. Your not my dad!" I told him. "I'm not your dad, but you didn't even tell your mom," he said correcting me. "You know what, I'm tired of the way your acting. Leave me alone like you were already doing, you not MY brother." I walked upstairs into Jack's room.
I was mad at Jonah. I never wanted to talk to him again. He wasn't my brother, or so I felt.
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samanthamarais not having the best day
unknown you suck
unknown go kys
unknown you ruined why dont we
seaveydaniel guys why are you being mean
unknown stop living
All the hate I was getting on Instagram was breaking me down. I lost a lot of followers and likes. I was depressed and no one knew. I was just sitting in Jack's room, crying my eyes out. But shortly Jack came upstairs, into his room, and crawled up on the bed and put his head under my arm, resting his head on my chest. "You ok?" he asked looking up at me. "No." I sobbed. "Why is it hard for you to ignore the hate?" he asked. "Ignore the hate? You wouldn't know what its like to be in my situation. No one ever gets mad at you, No one ever unfollows the famous Jack Avery." I said in a memic way. Jack signed and looked back down. "No one told you to go kill yourself," I said with a sign to make him feel how I did, which is really bad. Jack sign once again and then looked up at me and pecked my lips. We both went to sleep shortly after.
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