Illusion

Chapter: 10

"What do you want for your birthday?" Nessa asked. It was a Saturday. Nessa and I had gone to Walmart and we were on our way back to her house now.

"I don't need anything." Which in reality, I didn't need anything.

"I don't care. Give me ideas!"

"I don't know! I'll like whatever you get me." I said and Nessa groaned.

I miss Grayson like crazy. Hell, I miss Ethan. I haven't seen them since New Years. It's now the beginning of March and my 21st birthday was coming up in a week. I wish I could just go out to LA and see my boys. But me and planes, especially by myself will not go good together.

These couple weeks have been stressing me. Just work has been a pain in my ass. I'm getting so god damn sick of it. I just wanna get away from it. I don't wanna go back to work Monday. It getting old so fast and I just wanna be done with it. I've been there for 2 and a half years. I am not going to work there for the rest of my life. Fuck that.

I just wanna see Grayson. Seeing him, being with him, makes me feel so much better. He makes me forget about the stress and worry in my life. He makes it all go away. He's made such an impact on it. Hell, him and Ethan both have. I'm just so ready to do my own thing in life. I'm so ready to start living it the way I want too.

I want to have a business with my aunt. I want to be able to see Grayson more. Hell, I would love to see him everyday if I could. Seeing him once a month or less than that, kills me. I have fallen for him. We've been together since October and now it's March. We've been together for 5 months. It has taken me a while to realize it but I finally realize it.

I love him. I have completely fallen for Grayson. He's my everything. When I'm upset, when I need to vent, he's there. I'll call him at whatever time, whatever day, and he'll be there for me. When in with him, I feel so protected and warm. He makes me feel like I'm on cloud 9. He makes me feel whole. And I have never felt whole in a long time. There's a place in my heart that's only for Grayson. And if I ever lost him, I honestly feel like I would never be the same person again. Him and I have been there for each other through a lot. When he gets upset, gets anxiety attacks, feels depressed, he'll call me. I always calm him down. I do and he has thanked me so much for doing what I do.

One time, he was having an anxiety attack so bad, Ethan was helping him at home and I was on the phone with him. It was scaring me it was so bad. I wanted to be there physically there for him but I couldn't.

"Ashlea?" Nessa brought me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, what?" I shook my thoughts away.

"You okay? I was talking and you were completely zoned out."

"Oh. Sorry." I said shortly.

"What's up? Talk to me." Nessa turned the music the rest of the way down.

"It's nothing important. It's fine." I said.

"Talk to me. I know something is bugging you." She raised her brows at me, making her point that she's right.

"Well," I started but she cut me off.

"Is it about Grayson?" She asked, I nodded. "What about him?"

"Is just miss him like fucking crazy. I haven't seen him since New Years. Nessa, I love him. I wanna see him. I wanna tell him I love him because I fucking do. He's my rock. I would do anything for him and I know he'd do the same for me. And I just wanna be done with Subway. I wanna live my life the way I want too. I wanna be a photographer. I want to have a business with Violet. I wanna change my life so in not crabby anymore or upset because of work. I wanna travel. I wanna photograph wherever I go. I just wanna change." I let all of it out to my best friend.