Control

Animal I Have Become

"Damon!" Jamie giggled after I threw a piece of popcorn at her head that was turned to the TV screen.

I shielded my face with my hands in case she tried to punch me; for such a cute and small girl she had some strength to her and it was painful to be the one receiving Jamie's blows. "What? I just wanted your attention, honest," I said with a faked scared tone. She was so mean sometimes, but it was also so cute. Ahh why did she make me think like this?

After Marshall told me he and all The Others wanted Jamie dead, I'd been trying to distance myself from her and my feelings toward her. But I was failing so miserably. Those feelings were only intensifying so unexpectedly. It was her fault though for being so lovable and sexy.

"Then tell me, what is so important that you interrupt me while watching Orange is the New Black? Alex and Piper are finally working things out dammit," she said with a frown as she paused the TV; I assumed she stopped the show because she can't ever miss a second even though a second won't kill her. But knowing Jamie, she'd kill me if she missed anything important.

I ran a hand nervously through my dark hair and massaged the back of my neck as I attempted to find a way to ask this without seeming insane; but we already established the fact that I was insane so I guess it didn't matter. So, fuck it.

"So--err... uhm. Remember the Cliffside and the fact that I practically dragged you out of there?" I breathed a nervous laugh as I anticipated her response. I had no idea how she would take this, it could go two- no not two, three ways. She could either completely brush me off and call me crazy. Or she could just leave the house. Or, the worst possibility, she could call the cops and turn me in for being clinically insane.

Jamie raised a brow as she tried to remember what I was talking about, then nodded, "Uh yeah, you never told me why you were acting crazier than usual."

Crazier than usual, she really knew me didn't she?

I pushed myself off the comfortable position I previously held on the couch and paced in front of the bright TV screen as I configured how to break this to her. The room was only illumimated by the screen that was paused on Alex and Piper mid speech; the darkness only made me feel more anxious. Massaging my neck for the billionth time I asked, "So, did you happen to see anything . . . unusual?"

I bit my nails, the anxiety eating me alive. The last time I tried to talk to a girl about The Others, Kat, she freaked out and called me crazy for the fact that this was so uncommon in society. I didn't want to repeat the feeling I felt when Kat had looked at me like I needed to be in an institution. It was a very unsettling look, even worse was that I looked at myself the same way.

Jamie rattled her brain for anything that would answer my question. "I mean, you spazzing and grabbing me and throwing me into the car was pretty unusual, but other than that, no not that I know of . . . Why?"

My heart ached at the fact that I was still the only person who saw  The Others. I was still just insane, practically schizophrenic in a way.

I motioned toward the bathroom as my nervous feet stomped across the room. Jamie wearily followed me and paused at the bathroom doorway with the most confused expression written across her face. She bit her bottom lip as she waited patiently.

I cleared my throat and slowly closed my eyes as I began to think of The Others, what they looked like and anything about them. Willing one of them to come forth into my reflection. I took a few heavy and deep breaths and exhaled through my mouth as I slowly opened my eyes once again.

To my surprise, an unfamiliar face stared back at me with a frozen smile pulled at her cheeks. She wore that smile like a loaded gun. Her eyes were almost an orange-ish color with specks of black; making her eyes look like the season of Halloween. Her eyes felt the coldest of all The Others I'd met so far, and I did not like it. She had dark hair which fell into surfer-girl waves and stopped just below her breasts. She was a pretty sight, but evil shone all over her in every way possible. This girl was no good whatsoever.

With a trembling finger, I pointed to the mirror that no longer showed my face. "D-do you see her?"

Jamie, with her arms crossed over her chest, followed my finger with her eyes and glanced at the mirror. Then back at me with the same emotionless mask. "I'm more confused than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles."

My mouth hung agape, she didn't see her? God, I need some damn alcohol to bring back some sanity; if I had any left. I fisted the strands of my short hair as I grit my teeth together, nearly drawing blood from the pressure. Anger slowly rose as I felt the warmth spread through my cheeks.

The Others only wanted to play games with my mind, and I was done playing.

Jamie chuckled with a strange look on her face, "Why? Am I supposed to see something? All I see is an adorable guy that looks like he's about to shit his pants from rage."

My hands dropped to the crook of my neck, massaging the growing headache I had as I growled and glanced back at the girls reflection. She now smirked with a playful look in her eyes as she still stared directly back at me, just daring me to do something. Right, she could read my thoughts. How wonderful was that?

She then threw her head back in laughter, she shoulders shaking from the action. The strap to her sundress slipped off one shoulder from laughing so hard, but she didn't care. She obviously found humor in my mental pain and I didn't like it one bit. A low growl escaped from my throat once again as I bared my teeth at the girl in warning.

She then straightened and shook her head with a smile still gleaming on her cheeks and made a clicking noise with her mouth. "Damon, Damon, Damon. There is so much you don't know about reality that its pitiful. All you really need to know at the moment is that your time is running out, so spend it wisely before the worst happens. Okay? Okay. Bye bye now." She flashed a toothy smile as she vanished before I could even open my mouth with a response.

WHAT WAS HAPPENING? WHY WAS NO ONE TELLING ME ANYTHING??

A shrill shriek ripped from my throat as I stormed past Jamie and into the kitchen for some much needed vodka. I tore through all the cabinets in a violent rampage but found nothing besides water. The anger bubbled and spilled to the surface of my conscience as I grabbed my head roughly with my left hand and slammed it against the wall over and over, in hopes of splitting my head open and being rid of the entities in my head as I knocked my brains out.

Jamie rushed to my side, ripping me away from the wall. She may have been small, but oh was she mighty. "Damon what the fuck are you doing!? Stop it! What's the matter with you?" Her questions bombarded me. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows creased, her hands were thrown in the air with uncertainty.

My chest heaved with rage-filled my breaths as I just shook my head violently side to side. It was all I could manage to do, no words wanted to sound. I just wanted to be rid of these evil beings once and for all.

All the pent up anger I felt was the only thing my mind was allowing myself focusing on, so unconsciously I ran to dresser. Shuffling my hands through the drawers and even throwing some items over my shoulder, I found what I wasn't aware that I was looking for.

I quickly held the gun to my temple as my hand trembled terribly in the action. Jamie's mouth dropped open at everything that happened in the matter of a second and worry, not fear like I had expected, clouded those perfect blue eyes. A hand fluttered over her mouth as she had finally realized what caused my behavior.

She then took two cautious steps toward me before she paused, "Damon... you need to put that down before you do something you will regret." Another step. "This isn't okay, you know that." Another step. "Deep down, this isn't you. I know you, Damon." She was now standing a foot away from my sweaty body. She was very careful with her words as she took one last step, "You are a good person. You have a beautiful mind. They are not you."

The last thing she said echoed through the silence of my mind. The Others weren't me.. so why did I let them win over and over so easily?

I choked back a sob that threatened to spill as I slowly lowered the gun to my side. I hung my head, feeling the adrenaline of what I had just done. Jamie's chest heaved with relief. "Okay now Damon, please, put-"

The next thing I did took both her and I by complete surprise. With a deep breath, I backed away from her in messy footsteps, my body completely loose and swinging with every movement. I stood, swaying in every direction. My head throbbed, pain shooting throughout my entire being, but I did not let myself collapse, that shows weakness. Intead, a tear spilled down my cheek as I once again raised the gun, not at me, but toward her.