Lost Letters To No One

Dear Woman Trapped In Toxic Love

I know

I understand

I know how startling it was the first time he hit you

I understand how much it scares you as you watch the poison slowly consume him 

I know that every time he hits you you hear your heart crack

I understand that you can't leave him because he is all you have

I know that you cry in bed at night praying that he will change even though you know he won't

I understand that you stay because you hope that he will change

I know that you dread having children because you're scared that you will never be able to show them how to be strong

I understand that even though there are so many options for you to get help, you can't

because you still love him or rather the knight in shining armor that you hope is trapped in there

I know you enjoy the darkness because it gives you peace and you hate the light because it exposes every bruise

I understand how hard it is to find the concealer that will hide every mark but will never hide who you have become inside

I know that you are numb and your eyes no longer know how to cry

I understand that the only pain you can feel anymore is when you are thrown into the wall

I know that the words he screams at you will never compare to the words you whisper to yourself

I understand that when you finally felt something it was only hate for yourself

I know why you did it

I understand that you could see no other way

I don't know why you wouldn't let me in

I don't understand why you wouldn't let me remove that veil morphing your sight

Because as I stand here watching your body slowly drop into the ground I wish you could see how I crumble because I lost my best friend

And I am slowly starting to hate myself because I couldn't save you

I can hear him sobbing and the only thing I can hear is your laughter

The way you used to sing with me before he stepped in

They're taking him away

He hasn't protested

I think you showed him the monster that you saw in him

I'm closing my eyes and pinching myself 

Hoping this is all a nightmare

I wish that you would've let me help you

But wishes don't always come true