Redemption

One

Warning may be triggering for some readers. Please read with caution.

" I'm not apologizing for something everybody is taking out of context. " I laid back slightly in my chair with my jaw clenched and eyes dead on my manager " I'm tired of being criticized why can't people mind their own fucking business for once? "

" As long as you're in the public eye you are their business Dinah everybody is watching you some more then others you need to be careful and mindful of your actions. " Cassie walked around the table and grabbed her phone before looking back up at me " You need to apologize it's the only thing that's going to get you out of this hot water. "

" I don't need to do anything " I took a swig of my drink before squeezing on the bridge of my nose " I said what I said it wasn't suppose to be taken how it was taken. "

" But you can help what comes out your mouth Dinah it's called thinking before you speak." Cas walked back over and sat across from me looking down at her phone " I don't know how much longer I can do this Dinah between you thinking you can do and say as you please and your binge drinking I don't know much more I can take. " She slightly shook her head clearly out of frustration, I tried my best to sympathize with her but my chose of beverage wouldn't allow me to.

" That's your problem right there Dinah. " she slowly turned her head to the side looking away from me " You don't care, Do you not understand how many people you have depending on you? Have you forgotten? "

" Of course I haven't forgotten Cassie, I have all these people depending on me but yet and still no one I can depend on. " I took a large gulp of my drink before using the the back of my free hand to wipe my top lip off.

" Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? " She turned her head back towards me " You're not the same hungry artist I met five years ago, Matter of fact you're not the same person At all. What happened? " I looked at her with a blank expression because I myself didn't even know what happened.

It use to be so easy for me to mask how I felt when I was feeling it but now it was like if I didn't let it out the voices in my head would torment me until I did " Nothing has Changed, maybe it's just you. " I took another sip of my drink ready for the conversation to be brought to an end but from the look on her face I could see that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

I watched her look at me almost as if I was lost or something before I knew it everything else around me went quite and that voice appeared again " she's looking at you like you're crazy, what are you going to do about it? " I looked around the room to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, but I wasn't and I knew I wasn't I just didn't want to admit it " nothing " I lowly mumbled before taking another sip " You like being walked all over and talked to like you're nothing huh? If you don't do something about it now. She's going to do it forever " The voice became louder causing me to close my eyes and lowly hum in hopes of blocking it out.

But that didn't happened it just got louder and louder causing me to hum louder " Dinah!" I heard Cassie yell signaling she had called my name more then once " You need help. " Hearing those words caused everything to come to a halt as I opened my eyes up to look at her " What do you mean I need help? " I spoke before finishing the last of my drink " You need help, it's getting worse. You're either gonna lose yourself or your career and I know yo- "

" Just shut the fuck up Cassie " I yelled as I hopped up from my chair and headed over to my in home bar " I don't need help, maybe it's you that needs the help I'm just fine " I placed my empty cup down to refill it " I'm just fucking fine " I lowly mumbled before placing the small glass cup to my lips allowing the warm liquid to rush down my throat.

I looked around the room beginning to hear a slight laugh knowing the voice was back again " That's right give me what I want and there will be no problems. This time anyway " I closed my eyes tightly as the loud laughter roared throughout my head.

I poured another shot throwing it back as fast as I could. I watched Cassie eye me with concern written all over her face " Can you please leave " I lowly asked. But that only caused her to shake her head in a no motion.

I watched her just stand there and fiddle with her fingers causing me to grow irritated. I tightly gripped the side of the counter to control my hands but before I could even blink, I was reaching for my glass gripping it like it was a baseball. I chucked it across the room causing it to hit against the wall barely missing Cassie head " Just fucking leave " I ran across the room gripping onto her arm as I pulled her towards the door.

I yanked it opened before tossing her out. I gave her one more look before slamming the door closed right in her face ignoring every tear that was present on her round face.

I stood there looking at the door for a slight second before turning my back and slowing sliding down against it " Why me? " I took my head into my hands as I rocked back and forth against it " Why me " I yelled out as tears were starting to come down " Don't worry about it bitch just go get another cup " I halted my movement just to start crying even harder.

Okay what do you all think? Should I continue? Because at first I was just gonna leave this story concept alone.