Redemption

Two

Warning may be triggering for some readers. Please read with caution.

" Can you just do your fucking job? "

" No the question is can you do your fucking job? " Jacob blurted out over the music that lowly played in the background " All you gotta do is stand there and do a few poses and you can't even do that." he placed his camera down " Cassie come talk to her cause if I do ima hurt her feelings. " he walked off the set shaking his head. I watched him be dramatic as I tapped the side of my leg in hopes of ridding some of my anxiety away but it didn't work. So I began to tap my foot against the white sheet that laid across the wooden floor " Dinah " I turned my eyes in the direction Cassie voice was coming from. While taking my bottom lip between my teeth in hopes of containing the out burst I felt peaking through " Are you okay? "

" Don't I look okay? " I walked away from her not really in the mood to be dictated as if I were a child, but leave it to Cassie to follow up behind me as if she couldn't read that I wasn't in the mood for her shit today " Here you go " she brought her hand out of her thin jacket and held it bald up into a fist in front of me " Take it " she eyed me causing me to eye her back " what is it? " she stood there hesitant for a few seconds before she finally unballed her fist.

I looked into the palm of her hand for a second before pushing her hand causing the little white pill to go flying across the room " I don't need that "

" Yes you do Dinah I need you to be calm during this photoshoot please " she spoke with a pleading look upon her face but I wasn't giving in. I had grown tried of everyone around me trying to make me " Control myself " as if I were a maniac " Cassie I've told you I don't need a pill to keep me calm now get out of my face please " I gave her a look that she had grown to understand. A look that let her know that if I were pushed any further there would be no point of return, hell even I couldn't control what would happen.

She eyed me for a split second longer before deeply sighing and walking away " Good girl you don't need those shitty pills we get along just fine, don't you think? " I closed my eyes tightly as I listened to the voice echo throughout my head " Not today please " I lowly mumbled while squeezing my eyes shut while rocking back and forth on my heels.

Whenever the voices started nothing else existed. It was like I went into a trance only focusing on the voices that echo loudly in my head. I began to take deep breathes, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth " Please " I mumbled this time louder then before thinking that would help but it never did.

I'll never forget the first time I heard my first voice. I was six just two days before my seventh birthday my mother had took me out with her while she ran errands. Since I was a big girl in her words she had allowed me to sit in the front seat for the first time which felt like a huge accomplishment to me. So I sat in that front seat with the biggest smile on my face.

We went to every department store you could think of in our town, it was a few days after Christmas so my mother being the sale rat that she was liked to rack up on the fifty percent off items for birthdays and holidays that were in the upcoming year.

We went to store after store until it was finally time to head home. I sat up straight in my seat taking in all of my surroundings since the view looked so much different from the front then it did the back for some reason. I was so zoned out I didn't even realize the car had stopped " I need to run in here for just one second " she announced while unbuckling her seat belt. I just nodded my head as I returned my focus back onto the window.

I sat there looking at everyone pass by the car until I heard a slight noise causing me to look over into the driving seat direction. I looked around for the noise before I finally realized it was just the keys moving back and forth due to the heat being on.