The Cure

Chapter 11: My Fault

One of my most favourite things to do is to do nothing, and that is why I am sat on the sofa, in leggings and a hoodie, pizza beside me and a drink in my hands as I watch The Walking Dead. Steph left a while ago to get some shopping in, so I arranged to see my mom and Ollie and then did nothing. I keep checking my phone as Steph has put some new numbers in it, and for some reason I think someone is going to talk to me. Nathan has not seen me since he kissed me and I have not seen him. Thankfully, I have not seen James either, not after his warning in the alleyway. I still have no idea why that was, but I have decided not to think about it anymore and to just forget it all. 
Suddenly, the front door bursts open and Steph is once again holding Kelly, but this time, Kelly looks ten times worse. Her face is not only covered from yesterday's bruises, but there are new ones, with cuts above her eyes and more on her lips. Through her hooodie you can see more bruising and there is a huge cut on her neck. What did he do to her?
"Why did you tell James you knew? I told you not to say anything!" Kelly screeches, shocking me and causing me to step back, confused.
"I didn't tell him anything, I wouldn't do that," I say, defending myself. What?
"I went home last night and he was there, he told me that you saw him in the street and went up to him, telling him that you knew," she explains, the lies poruing from her mouth. That lying shit.  
"I promise Kelly, I didn't do any of that, he's lying," I explain but she shakes her head, tears falling as she gives me a disgusted look. 
"Is it a coincidence that the day she tells you he finds out when you were gone then? You didn't see him then?" Steph asks, her condescending voice scaring me.
"He was walking and came up to me, I didn't say anything about you," I repeat but she does not believe me.
"Bullshit! I trusted you Lily," she cries and hugs Steph as Steph rubs her back.
"This happened to her because of you, it's your fucking fault," she points at me, spitting and making me feel like shit.
"I didn't do anything, I wouldn't do that to you," I beg but she looks away. "How can you believe him over me?" 
"His story makes more sense, I don't believe you because you're lying." I'm hurt that none of them believe me. How can they think I would do that? Why would they believe that bastard over me? He is a liar and I will prove it, I just don't know how. I can't tell them why he approached me, that would be revealing Nathan and I won't do that, but I can't make something up like he has, that wouldn't work.
I stroll into my room, taking a suitcase from under my bed and start to throw all of my clothes into it. 
"What are you doing?" Steph asks sounding bored and fed up rather than upset or even worried.
"I'm packing my stuff, I'm going to go and stay at a friends," I answer, not looking at them as I pack everything from the bathroom and continue throwing things in from the bedroom. Once I am done, I take my bag and walk to the door.
"Where are you going to go?" Kelly whispers, looking upset and confused. 
"I don't know but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that he has hurt you so much, I wish he hadn't but it wasn't my fault, I never spoke to him about you, I would never do that," I apologise and see Steph shake her head,"so let me know when you finally find out the truth," I end, slamming the door behind me. I drag my case into the lift, my bag on my shoulder, tears streaming down my face. When I get outside, I fully realise how I have nowhere to go. I take my phone out of my bag and look through my contacts. The only person I actually want to see now is Nathan and I know I shouldn't, but I need him right now. I scroll threw my contacts and click his name, waiting for him to pick up.

"Hello?" His husky voice answers through the phone, instantly calming me down.
"It's L-l-lily," I say and hear a chair move, then a door slam. Where is he?
"Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" His worried voice makes me smile and I know what I am doing is wrong, I know I should stay away from him but I can't, I just can't.
"I have nowhere to go, I don't know what to do," I panic as my breathing gets quicker, my throat closes and I struggle to inhale and exhale. 
"Where are you?" He asks and I wheeze out my road, as he tells me he will be there in two minutes, reassuring me everything will be okay. I sit on the curb in the car park, slowly breathing in and out the way my mom used to tell me to, the way she used to bring me back. True to his word, two minutes later, a black car speeds down the road, stopping in front of me. He jumps out, and the sight of him settles me.
In a white t-shirt and blue jeans, he looks beautiful as he reaches my level, looking into my eyes. I smile as a tear falls and he wipes it away.
I stand with his assistance while he takes my bag and places it in the backseat, helping me into the front. He doesn't ask any questions, instead he just drives, rubbing circles on my leg with his thumb. Such a small, insignificant action actually means more to me than most words. 
Removing his hand from my leg, he turns the radio on, placing a cd in the player. Then, as it starts, I recognise the band The Killers straight away. He then returns his hand to my leg, rubbing the small circles in a different direction. 
"How are you?" He asks, breaking the silence. A lot of answers form in my head, ranging from 'okay' to 'like death'.
"I'm okay," I answer, forcing a smile to appear on my face. He doesn't look convinced as hs starts to sing 'smile like you mean it'. How ironic.
We have not been driving for long but the buildings in this area look much more expensive as you can see apartment buildings have balcony's and and local parks have marble statues in them, the complete opposite to the area in which I live now. I would never have imagined Nathan to live in an area like this but as parks in the car park outisde one of those fancy apartments, I need to start believing it. He takes my bag from the backseat and opens the door for me as I stumble out, still a bit shocked by his choice in house. 
I follow behind him but feel uncomfortable and out of my place in my underdressed, make-up free, messy haired state. We walk through the revolving doors, yes, those doors that you have to walk around in a circle to get in, into a reception area with one man at a desk but nobody else in sight.
"Good Afternoon Mister Riley," the man politley says to Nathan, tipping his hat to him.
"Hello Sam, this is my friend Lily," Nathan introduces, gesturing to me. I smile and wave, like an idiot but Sam just laughs at me.
"Good Afternoon My lady," he greets and I smile as Nathan leads me to he lift. Almost immediatley, the door opens and we step inside the expensive, shining silver box. It's so fancy, they have gentle, classical music playing around you. He presses the three hundred and thirty second floor and waits for it to start moving. The silence, apart from the music, isn't awkward, it's welcomed. I would rather be stood here, just enjoying not having to speak rather than struggling to make a conversation or trying to seem like I am okay when all I want to is curl up into a ball, upset that I have lost my two friends, that I have nowhere to live for the time being and that I am with somone who has killed someone but I think I am falling for. 
The doors open and we step into a hallway, painted grey with stell light fitting, potted plants and art on the walls, wow. 
"Woah," I say and watch him smile a little before looking away and leading me through the halls until we reach his number, number 3456, written in gold writing. He slides a key into the lock and swings the door open, revealing an open, uncluttered, gorgeous flat that I am immediatley jealous of. The wall opposite the door has a large window and balcony on, the sofas are all white on a black rug and the kitchen is all steel, I look around, amazed. I see two door coming from the kitchen/dining room/living room. It all looks so beautiful. 
"Wow, this is amazing," I compliment and watch as he smiles.
"My parents bought it before they died, for when I went college or university, or if I ever needed it. I don't usually use it, I just stay with Kyle because it's closer to everything," he explains and I smile, this time more genuinely.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Damn, it was all going so well and then he had to ask. 
"I had a fight with Steph and Kelly, I left the flat and had nowhere to go," I say simply as if it wasn't a big deal, but of course, being the bad liar I am and having the worst look ever, he doesn't believe me.
"What did you fight about?" He asks gesturing for us to sit on the sofas in he middle of the room. I walk over and sit on one end of the sofa, while he sits on the chair.
"I can't really say, sorry but they hate me now."
"Why did you call me?" He asks suddenly, almost like he is speaking his mind other than wanting to ask me the question.
"What do you mean?" 
"I just wanted to know why you called me and not someone else," he says, still staring at the floor. I wait for a few moments, thinking of what would be the best thing to say, and what I shouldn't mention. 
"With you, I don't know, I feel more comfortable with you...You're one of the only people that has been nice to me." He looks up at me and smiles his green eyes resembling jewels, emeralds.
"You can stay here for as long as you need," he smiles, showing me his pure white teeth. I start to shake my head.
"No, it's okay I just needed someone, I can go and stay in a hotel somewhere," I stutter, heading back to the door, trying to reach my suitcase.
"Lily, it's fine, honestly, you can stay as long as you need to, please," he blocks my way to the door and hearing his last words, I give him a small smile, feeling as if I might break down crying at any minute if he says anything else that is as nice that. I nod and turn away, a single tear escaping and running down my red cheeks. I wipe it away as soon as I can, but he notices, like he always does and moves to sit beside me, wrapping his strong arm around my shoulders, comforting me.
"It's okay," he whispers, soothing me. His hand rubs up and down my arm as I lean into him, resting my left side on him, my head on his shoulder. I cry some more tears as I think about how wrong this is and how after everything that has happend, including the murder and the warning, I am still going back to him, I still want him. 
"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have rang you, I shouldn't have gotten you involved, I shouldn't be with you right now," I apologise, shaking my head as he shushes me, reminding me of the first time he saw me in this state. Why has he person I like seen me in my worst times?
"Why shouldn't you be with me right now?" He asks, and deciding that I am fed up of lying and that I am keeping secrets for him, I put my trust in him and tell the truth.
"James told me to stay away from you, I'm sorry." He turns me to face him, looking deeply into my eyes. 
"What did he do?"
"He saw me walking home and told me to talk to him, I tried to leave and then he pushed me into the alley and told me to stay away from you," I simply explain, leaving out the threats and bad words.
"Did he hurt you?" I move away from him and remove my hoodie, leaving my in just a strappy top. I then turn around and how him  the scratches on my back and neck, from the glass on the floor, from where he pushed me against the wall. I hear his breath catch in his throat as he studies my injuries before his presence is no longer there, and when I turn in his direction, I see that he is worriedly pacing.
"I'll kill him," he says, running his hands through his hair, messing it up even more. I jump from the sofa, making my way to him, and I hold his arms.
"I'm fine, look at me I'm fine, you can't tell anyone," I plead as he looks into my eyes, distress written all over his features. 
"He hurt you Lily, that is not fine," he explains, moving away from me,"I'll make him pay," he adds scaring me.
"No! Please I need you to stay here with me, please calm down, I need you to stay calm," I beg, sitting him down on the arm of the chair. I take his face in my hands, holding him gently. "I'm right here with you, and I'm fine,  I'll be okay but you have to calm down, I'm here with you and I'm safe," I say and watch as he relaxes and then presses his lips on mine in one sudden movement.
Before I realise it, I am back in the same situation I was before, kissing a murderer and kissing someone I like who keeps me safe and protects me. This time though, I am not going to leave. I know now that even though I have been warned away, even though he isn't as good for me as other people are, I don't believe he is a bad person, he is good inside, I know it.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," he apologizes disconnecting us, and walking to the other side of the room. 
"Why?" I ask, slightly shaky. 
"You wanted me to?"
"Yes," I answer honestly, standing still. He looks torn between kissing me again and leaving me there, confused like he normally does. 
"Why?"
"Because you look out for me, you protect me and make me feel safe. Then, you make me feel better about myself, you make me smile and you're gorgeous by the way, but still, and I just can't stay away," I admit, looking away, not wanting to see him reject me and tell me that he doesn't feel the same. I hear footsteps and then I see his shadow beside me. 
He tilts my head up with his thumb, looks into my eyes and presses his lips so gently on mine, only for a few seconds but I am still shaky and dizzy, how is he that good?
"You think I'm gorgeous?" He asks, smirking and I giggle.
"Is that the only part of that you heard?"
"No, but do you?"
"Yes, very," I laugh and he smiles leaning into my ear, whispering," you're beautiful as well babe." My heart literally does backflis when he calls me babe. Oh My God. I feel the blood rush to my cheeks and watch as he starts to smirk about my clearly embarrassed state. 
"Come on," he says, taking my hand in his, lacing our fingers together in a way that makes electricity burn through my veins, and leading me to the sofa, where he sits down, me beside him. 

That day, he chose all of my favourite films to watch on Netflix, cooked me pizza (not just any pizza, but the best pizza that was ever created on earth) and he is now giving me his room, saying he will sleep on the sofa. Granted, the sofas look very comfortable, but he shouldn't have to give up his bed for me.
"No, I won't it's not fair," I argue but he just shakes his head.
"It's fine, honestly," he convinces but I shake my head, crossing my arms in a way that indicates I will not be moving.
In one quick movement, he has picked me up by the waist, so my body is slung over his shoulder and is carrying me through his apartment.
"Put me down!" I laugh but he just shakes his head, so I slap his back, hitting him so he would put me down. Then the door to his room is opened and I am thrown onto the bed, where he proceeds to tickle me until I can't breathe.
"Why did you tickle me?" I ask and he smiles.
"So you would be too tired to fight back," he winks and when I call him sneaky, he pecks me on he lips. He is right, I am too tired to move now. Then, he brings my bags in for me, telling me that the bathroom is next door.
"Goodnight Lily," he whispers, kissing me for the last time today.
"Night Nathan," I return and watch as he leaves my room, a smile permanently plastered on my face. Nathan's room has been painted white, with wooden furniture and that is it. There are no photos. no clothes, no colour and I wonder why. 
I go to my bag and look through it, but then I notice I have only packed shorts pyjamas, great. I mentally kick myself and then change. Taking my toiletry bag, I practically run into the bathroom, where I brush my teeth and wash my face, and then run back to my room, giving him barely any chance of seeing me. I crawl under the covers, shivering due to the cold fabric, and fall asleep smiling, thinking of Nathan. 

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