The Avengers: To Love and be Loved By Me

When You're Gone

Loki didn't take the news of his mothers passing well. He blamed himself, and on top of all that pain he felt like a dirty whore for what had happened with Steve, especially since Tony had seen it. He couldn't close his eyes without it haunting him, the awful feeling of Steve's manhood inside him never quite going away, as if it was impossible to wash himself of the act. Finding it unbearable to look at Tony, Loki had packed his things and begun to leave, starting an enormous fight with Tony, who felt like Loki was leaving because he didn't get to him quick enough. Loki now found himself sitting alone in a Babies R Us, his suitcase beside him, looking glumly at a Onesee that read "Grandma Loves Me". Tears ran down his face as he gently rubbed his pregnant belly, so confused and so angry.

"Your grandmother did love you, she loved you so very much. And now she's gone, and I don't know what to do. She was always my rock, she helped me through everything, but who is going to help me through this? Thor's grieving too, and I don't wish to bother him and your father...he probably hates me. I didn't mean to hurt him, baby girl, I promise you I didn't...he was trying so hard to be there for me and I threw it in his face. Now you're all I have. You'll comfort mummy, won't you?" The baby kicked gently and Loki smiled through his tears, patting the place where he'd felt the tiny feet.

"Thank you, angel. Though I suppose I don't deserve your kindness. I let that filthy Captain America defile not just me...but you. My body is your home...I let him break into your home, and I'm so sorry. I was so scared he was going to kill you otherwise, my little one, and I can't ever lose you. You and your father are the best things to ever happen to me. A-And I know your daddy must think I'm undesirable now...another man has been in what was supposed to be only his, and I don't know how to fix it." Loki buried his face into his hands and sobbed harshly, feeling worse than he had the very day Tony had consoled him in SHIELD's glass prison when they first fell in love. A lady then walked by and stopped for a few seconds, a look of concern crossing her face.

"Ma'am, are you alright? Is it contractions or something, do I need to call an ambulance?" Loki, who was used to being mistaken for a woman since he'd been pregnant, smiled sadly and shook his head.

"No, thank you. I'm only six months pregnant, it's not that. I just had a fight with my fiancé, that's all." She scoffed.

"And he left you here? What a douche bag!" Loki chuckled and sniffled a bit, wiping some stray tears on his sleeve.

"Oh no, he would never do anything like that. I stormed out of our house and came here by myself. Nowhere else to go. I'm sure he's worried...if he doesn't hate me. But I can't face him after everything that's happened." The nice lady bent down and offered Loki her cell-phone.

"Oh, sweetheart, give him a call. I'm sure he doesn't hate you, and he'll come pick you up." Loki looked down at his engagement ring and thought about that day at the park, the pure adoration in Tony's eyes when he presented him with the ring.

"Alright, thank you."

Meanwhile, Tony was laying in the middle of the living room floor, one of Loki's shirts (one that had been in the laundry since Loki had taken the others) in one hand and a bottle of Jameson in the other. Loki had been gone for several hours and there was a gaping whole in Tony's heart. This was it, he thought, he'd lost everything. Tony honestly didn't believe Loki was coming home, not after the fight they'd just had. 'I just can't do this anymore Anthony, I can't even look at you! I just...I'm sorry.' Tony heard those words echoing throughout his mind, taking another long swig from the bottle in an attempt to drown it out. Of course Loki had meant he couldn't look at Tony out of shame, but that's not how Stark saw it at all. Everything bad that had happened to Loki was his fault, he thought, and he couldn't blame Loki for leaving his sorry ass. Tony pulled the shirt, which was the first shirt he'd ever given Loki, the ACDC one, to his nose and sniffed it.