I'm a bad mom
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Some people were born to live their life as normal as they can, but it wasn't my case, I was born to be dead not literally but yeah I'm dead.
Why?
Isn't it clear now?
I lost my baby boy, the only and the last person who loved me for real Cuz no body did even my own family they we're never proud whatever I do trying to make them happy, that negligence that no love pushed me to marry the first one who came in my way and showed me little bit of caring, to face up the ugly bitter truth I'm married to an alcoholic.
He was no human, I knew a lot of people having drinking problems but they remain humans after all, like they could be insane in nighttime but they end up by waking up with their minds their consciousness in the morning, he was something else, he was a devil in a human body.
Do I regret marrying him?
Hell no!
He gave me life after I was dead, he gave me the most beautiful thing that I've never thought that I could deserve, he gave me Yonnas.
But it made me more upset more desperately sad cause I was suffering alone it became a double pain, he made his life a living hell.
All I wanted for my little dear was a different life than mine, he never got it.
The only nice thing he could have from this life before leaving it forever was the taste of a loving friend and I couldn't be more happy at that time, at least he wasn't alone when he wasn't home facing all the mess that he had nothing to do with.
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I'm an awful mom.
How could I bring him to this cruel world that made his life worse.
I thing I gonna never know the taste of the sweet life that they talk about in the movies and series.
After he's gone, that small light of hope of pride has vanished.
He was my piece of sweet on top of my meaningless tasteless days.
Now he's gone, that cancer took him from me, I hate it even more than his father.
What it's making me on my feet now and alive especially is that piece of paper he wrote in his last days, asking me, begging me to live for you and to get the life that I deserve. But all I wanted was you and growing up seeing you falling in love getting married and having little good looking kids.
I'm staying alive just for you, so you won't be disappointed.
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I loved you more than anything
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