K-POP ONE SHOTS

His Miracle In December (KaixReader)

Kai sat on the couch looking at something he once held dear and still does. A picture of you and him; back then when there was such a thing of 'you and I.' His fingertips traced over your framed face and it felt like a wave of emotions just crashed on to his back. His heart ached and the feeling of self hatred soon entered his veins. He never knew what he had until he lost you and now it seemed he couldn't even see the sunshine nowadays; much less function properly. His dark eyes scanned the picture as if something magical would happen and somehow you would be back in his arms this Christmas eve. He remembered how you used to go all out on this holiday, for it was your favorite. Oh how much he would give to see your smiling face and those eyes of yours light up. It was all gone. Too far gone for his liking. What was worst is that it was his own doing that pushed you away.

"I am searching for the one I can't see anymore."

"I am listening for the one I cant hear anymore"

His hands gripped the picture frame as his lips quivered. It was all to much. The pain was not of yesterday though that it was it seemed like when he let his mind slip back to that saddening memory. All he could remember was you walking away from him in a mess of angry tears. Your walk never once slowed as you kept a brisk pace and you dare didn't look back at him. He thought of it all. The thoughts and the memories seemed to be haunting him and his foolish actions cost him his everything. You. Kai did not dare even think what you were up to now and whose arms you were even in if you were in any at all. The thought that someone took better care of you than he did sent his heart into an all time low.

"I can see the things I couldn't see."

"Can hear the things I couldn't hear."

"You've given me this power ever since you left me right here"

Kai set the picture frame down on the coffee table as if this was the only thing that mattered to him. Now that you weren't here with him, what was the point of enjoying the holiday? What was the point in trying to enjoy anything anymore. It seemed like everything he did reminded him of you. You two did anything and everything together and that was what kept the love fresh and never growing old. Well, that was until he let his foolish actions drag that relationship into the dust. He had made the mistake of wasting what you gave him and taking you too much for granted. For that he was now left alone. His members knew it as well as he did, but no one wanted to cross him at the milestone he was stuck in. Kai wouldn't communicate, he wouldn't hang out as often, and he wouldn't even dance properly. The heartbreak was taking too much of a toll on him and to the outside world, it looked like he would shatter into pieces any second. Though his eyes seemed like they could no longer produce tears, fresh ones slipped down his cheeks. His hands shook in anger at himself and the tears drop onto the glass of the frame splattering ever so slightly. Why? Why did he practically throw you away. All because a day wasn't going right. Now none of his days went right and now he had no one at his side to console his emotions. No shoulder to cry on. No welcoming kisses. Nothing. Absolute nothing. He had bitterly descended into a depressed state.

"Before, I was selfish, and I didn't care about you."

"I didn't understand your heart; I was a fool"

He stood and his calloused fingers furiously wiped the tears away. He no right to cry. After all he put himself in this place. Looking in the hallway mirror, Kai took a good look at his disheveled state. He even considered himself looking pathetic and it did not help his case that dark circles were under his eyes. This was pure torture. You were his sweet affliction and he felt cold without you anywhere near him. In front of the mirror he confronted his thoughts. He promised to become better. Better than he was. Not on the idol level but as any other human. If he had to work hard until he worked himself into the ground to get you back, or at least even looking in his direction, then so be it.

"Right now, I'm trying to change who I am."

"And I know you're not by my side, but it's because of your love that I'm trying to change."

Kai looked around at the snow covered city while walking along the frozen sidewalk. His hear bitterly broke when seeing couples so happily enjoying their bondage while his was broken and gone. They exhibited the same happiness he once had with you. He gazed at few remembering how you used to do this and he used to that. When seeing so many smiling faces, he directed his attention to the sidewalk. Looking at the frost that covered the dull colored concrete, he compared its grey color to his heart. Kai even felt like he didn't have a properly functioning heart at this moment and all he was running on was air that he breathed. He was in a vague routine and he seemed to be looking anywhere for a sign of you. Something.

"It seems as everything in my world somehow reminds me of you."

"Each snowflake in the sky is like a teardrop that came from you."

"I wish that somehow you would appear."

"I wish you'd be by my side, right here."

"Even with these powers, I cannot bring you back to me."

Kai looked toward the sky as the snowflakes began to fall. He let a small smile caress his face thinking how you would enjoy trying to catch one in one of your small palms. Reaching out, he looked at one of the few that landed in his hand. It was dainty. Just like you. He felt his eyes sting as fresh tears daringly wanted to resurface and closed his hand, crushing the small object. Kai's hand limply fell by his side and he did not continue his walk. Looking up he had to face that nothing would be the same. Ever since he found you, you were his cornerstone. At least you were. Kai stuffed his hands in his pockets and sniffled letting the last tear drop. There he spotted it. Familiar head of black hair. He had to do a double take to make sure his eyes were not misleading him. His body shook as you gazed at him. Your eyes never leaving his features when standing only a few feet in front of him from the crowded sidewalk. He pathetically reached out for you feeling like he had to touch you to make sure you were truly there. Otherwise he would simply look crazy.

His eyes widened slightly when your gloved hands hold onto his and wrenching you forward to him, he let out a soft cry. His arms restricted around you not daring to let go in fear that you would disappear all to quickly for his liking. Kai buried his face into your hair and kissed your face repeatedly while holding it between his warm hands. He could only stare as you slowly wiped his tears. It pained him to see you look at him in this state. Never had he looked so distraught in front of you and he always tried to keep an upbeat and tough manor to him. Not now. No. Now he looked that a fragile doll that if touched in the slightest way, it would break and there would be no repairing. He caressed you in his hold and swayed you slightly as if his mumbled apologies were not enough. He couldn't withstand without you. He wouldn't. He couldn't. That didn't mater though. All he wanted to do right now was take your silent forgiveness and hold you forever. Your arms around his tall frame was all he needed and the confirmation was more than a warming sense. It was a necessity. Placing his lips on top of your head, he closed his puffy eyes that went along with his tear stained face. He had you back in his arms. Right where you needed to be and needed to stay. I guess you could say miracles could happen. You were a miracle. His miracle.

"Before, I was selfish, and I didn't care about you."

"I didn't understand your heart; I was a fool."

"Right now Im trying to change who I am."

"And I know you're not by my side, but it's because of your love that I'm trying to change."