Reddie oneshots

Goodbye

Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I'm tired and I wanted to get this done so yeah

Dear Eddie,

I love you, and I don't think any word can express how much I deeply care for you. I've known you forever, since 4th grade. We were inseparable, no one could come between us. We spent everyday of our lives together, talking, laughing, being cute. We made the same group of friends, the loser's club. It was the best time of my life, and I hope your life too. After one person moved away from the loser's club, we started hanging out less. We slowly drifted apart and everyday I longed to see you, but I was too scared you didn't care for me anymore.

Soon, we all moved away, except Mike, and I forgot about you. I went to high school and I graduated. I went to college and graduated. I started living on my own and I completely forgot about you. You were like a shadow in my memories that kept on trying to relive themselves, but never fully succeeded. Then I saw you somewhere, in a coffee shop maybe, and all my wonderful memories came flooding back to me and I felt nauseous. You glanced in my direction and turned pale white. I guess I looked like that too. I made my way over to you and I said your name like it was a question. You jumped into my arms and hugged me tight. I felt the happiest I've felt in a while.

We started hanging out again, and soon I mustered enough courage to ask you out. You said yes, and I filled with euphoria. One day, you told me you had something to tell me so you brought me to a park. I sat down at the bench you were sitting at and asked what you wanted to tell me. You told me you had leukemia, and that you might not make it. Tears filled my eyes and I looked at you, but you were smiling a small smile and said:

"That's okay, because I wanna spend the rest of my life with you."

At that moment I was happy and sad at the same time. So traumatized that I captured what you said word for word. We soon made a bucket list of things for us to do together. I made those few years I had with you count, and we did do all that we said we would.

But one day. One day we were cuddling and you screamed out in pain. One day you were hyperventilating and tears filled your eyes. One day I called 911 and you had to be hospitalized. I stayed with you for as long as I could, but they had to do CPR and I couldn't be in there for that. I wanted to tell you that I tried to get in that room, I really did, but they wouldn't let me. I wanted to be by your side when you died. I wanted to always be there for you.

When they told me that you died I cried and started screaming at them. I screamed that I wanted to be with you when it happened, to make you feel safe. It was too late and you were already gone.

I couldn't bare going to your funeral. I'm so sorry, I just couldn't. My heart hurt and ached and I felt like nothing mattered, not without you.

So that's why I'm writing this I guess. I want to tell you that I was so sorry that I couldn't protect you. I wanted to tell you how much I longed for you. I wanted to tell you how not a day goes by that I don't think about you, which I is why I decided to join you. I can't do it anymore, I just can't. I lost everything that made me happy.

I lost my Eds.

I love you, I love you so much, and I will never stop loving you. I thank you for the good times we've had. I cherish those moments. But soon I'll be coming home to my Eds, my life, my love. Goodbye world, goodbye life, goodbye.

Love,
Richie

Okay I know this doesn't seem sad but I was bawling when I made this. My heart just hurts a lot and I have panic attacks often, so this sorta helped me I guess. Life sucks big time. Anyway, thank you for all the love and just know that I would be nothing without you guys. Bye for now

(Edit: OH MY GOD THIS IS SO EDGY AND BAD IM SO SORRY SHSJSJSJH)