"Okay." - Calum Hood One Shot

"Okay." Part 1 - Calum Hood One Shot

"Calum." I looked up at him watching TV. He was sat on the edge of the bed with his legs criss crossed, and I laid behind him.

"Hmm?" he responded, not paying much attention to me, his focus on what was in front of him.

I decided not to reply. It's been a lot like this lately. Calum used to give me his undivided attention, but recently it's like he's been losing interest in me. Was it because I refused to have sex with him? Or maybe he just really didn't have those kind of feelings for me anymore. I continued thinking to myself until I noticed that Calum turned the TV off, and was staring straight at me.

"Y/N, what is it?" He raised his eyebrows and started biting the inside of his cheek, sensing something was wrong. He climbed further onto the bed and ended up sitting next to my head. "You're making me a bit nervous," he chuckled, playing with his bottom lip. I looked at him expectantly, wondering why he didn't understand what I was trying to convey. What was I trying to convey? I sat up and faced him, our knees touching.

"I don't know, I'm just... I don't know. You've been so distant I guess." I ran my fingers through my hair, attempting to smooth out the many tangles that developed from laying in bed all day. Calum looked down at the hole in his jeans, and poked at it with his finger. He didn't say anything, but I could tell he was uncomfortable. More uncomfortable than he should've been.

"Cal, talk to me. What's going on?" I prodded. He sighed and finally looked at me.

"Nothing," he responded and smiled weakly. "Can we just lay down?" I nodded as he pulled me down onto the bed, resting my head on his chest. I felt his heart beating unusually fast, and I grew worried, considering the fact that he hadn't been moving very much.

"Are you okay? Your heart is beating kinda fast." I lifted my head off of his chest to look at him. All he did was return my stare, licking his lips as he did so. All of a sudden, he grabbed my face in his hands and pulled me close to him, closing the space between us. His lips crashed into mine, moving in sync with my lips even though it took me a moment to register what was going on.

"Y/N," he panted, separating just for a moment to catch his breath. I was out of breath too, and I felt my lips swell. I looked at him intently, curious of what he was going to say.

"What?" I questioned. Instead, he pulled me in again and decided to let his actions explain himself. Calum ran his tongue along my bottom lip, begging me to open my mouth. I did, and he slipped his tongue in. I tangled my fingers through his hair and tugged slightly, knowing he loved it when I did that. He let out a quiet moan and wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tight against his body. We stayed that way for a while, until I felt his hands travel a little further up my waist to where my shirt ended. He began lifting it up, attempting to take it off, but I stopped him. I broke the contact between our lips and immediately sat back up.

"Cal, I can't-" I began muttering but he cut me off.

"Seriously? Again? Why have you been doing this to me every single fucking time I try to be close to you the way we used to be? What is it? Do you not find me appealing anymore or what? Just fucking tell me because I can't take this anymore! You say I'm distant, but it's actually you!" he spat, the frustration and confusion clear in his voice.

"No it's not that, I swear! I don't know what's fucking wrong with me! I want to, I really do. But I just can't bring myself to, I don't know why.. Something's wrong with me.. Shit.." I continued to mumble to myself, putting my head in my hands.

"Hey, come here. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," his voice immediately softening at the sight of my frustration. He sat up and scooted closer to me, taking my hands from my face and intertwining our fingers.

"What's going on? Please, Y/N. Tell me."

"I'm sorry.. I just.. Haven't been feeling comfortable with myself lately," I told him, my voice quiet and squeakier than I intended it to be. I felt tears beginning to form in my eyes, threatening to spill out any moment. Calum saw and put one of his hands on my cheek, brushing away the few tears that betrayed me with his thumb.

"What? Y/N, no, please don't cry. You're beautiful, why would you ever think otherwise?" His eyebrows scrunched together and the concern on his face was evident. He pulled me into him again, hugging me tightly.

"You're too beautiful to cry," he said quietly and placed a kiss on the top of my head. We just sat there, holding each other as I thought about everything wrong about our relationship. I didn't deserve him, but for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to admit that.

I got myself together and wiggled out of Calum's tight grasp. As I wiped the remaining tears away, I took a deep breath.

"Calum."

"What is it?" he asked for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"I love you," I whispered, so softly that I almost couldn't hear myself.

Calum took my hands in his again, a small smile forming on his face.

"And I love you," he said, "I miss you."

"What's there to miss?"

"I'll show you." Calum squeezed my hands lightly, shifting his weight onto his knees. He got up off of the bed and was now standing. He took my shoulders and turned me around so I was facing away from him. He stood behind me, making my back come into contact with his torso. He pushed my hair onto one shoulder, exposing my neck. He brought his lips down and began leaving a trail of kisses from underneath my ear, working down to my collarbone. He pushed the strap of my tank top off of my shoulder while tracing light patterns on my arm, revealing even more of my skin. I knew where he wanted to take this, and I put my hand on top of his, stopping his movement.

"Calum I just told you. I-" I began to turn around but he held me in place.

He brought his mouth close to my ear and covered my lips with his hand.

"Let me love you," he whispered, sending shivers down my spine. I felt goosebumps beginning to form on the skin he was touching and my stomach fluttered, a feeling I haven't experienced in a long time.

"In more ways than one," he continued, kissing my shoulder again.

I couldn't resist. As much as I hated admitting it, I missed Calum in this way too. I loved him, and he loved me. And that was all that mattered.

"Okay," I breathed, letting out the word I've been holding back for far too long.