ʜᴇᴀʀᴛʙᴇᴀᴛ ♡ ᴄʜᴀ ᴇᴜɴᴡᴏᴏ

Diary entry 01

Dear diary,

This is a stupid thing to do. Writing all your secrets onto a piece of paper assembled into a book only for others to just read and spread.

This is not like me, but... this would help me communicate myself more rather than just harming myself.

Hello, i am lee jung ah. I suffer from severe depression, having such controlling parents, and heart cancer.

My siblings have excellent grades yet i have normal ones.

That's what makes me a disappointment towards my family, that i am just a burden to them.

I was once told as useless from my parents. And the problem was... what they said was true.

I was not just stupid, i was also hideous. I often got comments about not being skinny enough, not being pretty enough.

While my sister gets compliments from everyone about how perfect she is, how smart she is...

.... but how about me?

Not only being a disappointment to my parents, i was also a burden to my classmates.

I was a total pain in the ass...

I wanted to change, but... that would only damage me more.

I always wanted to know what it always felt to loose my life or rather just die.

I wanted to know how everyone would  react when i take my own life or nature just takes it.

Yet i always asked this question in my head.

Why does God continue making people even if the world already contains 8 billion people.

Having more people might ruin the world and might even break it.

People like me shouldn't have existed.

I just hope that this disease will end up with a result of me dead.

- lee jung ah