Speak Now (A Shoey Fanfic)

Chapter 9

My one last sleep ended too early.

It was seven in the morning. I crawled slowly out of bed. Normally I'd relax before getting out of bed, but I have things to do.

I got out of bed to find three suitcases completely full. And my room was bare. I guess she was in a hurry for me to leave. I guess she hates me, too.

I picked up the bags with a heavy heart and walked down the stairs.

Meghan lay on the couch, fighting to stay awake. She sat up quickly when she saw me.

"Joey," she gasped, "You're leaving already?"

I shrugged, "You packed up all my things. I'd figure that was a sign of 'I want you the hell out of my house.'"

She only shook her head slightly, "No, I couldn't sleep. I didn't have anything else to do, I'm sorry."

She was thinking of David.

"Did you not even sleep a little?"

"No, I even made breakfast. Would you like some? It's pancakes, but they got cold so I put them in the fridge."

I let out a sigh, "No. No... I don't. I'll get something on my way."

She got off the couch, "On your way where? Do you know where you're staying?"

"Yes," I lied.

"Are you going to Sawyer's?"

"No," I laughed a little. I was a mess. "No, I'll be staying at a hotel somewhere."

"A hotel?" She gasped, "No Joey, just stay here. Just stay until you find a real place to stay."

I wish I could. But that just didn't feel right. "I can't. I'll only stay for a week, at least, while I look for my own place."

Her jaw dropped, "You plan on buying a house?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Somewhere out of Los Angeles."

"No," She was pacing, "Joey you can't. I love you. You're my best friend... You can't leave!

"Meghan, you think this doesn't hurt me? Well it does. I'm leaving everything behind and it sucks. But you don't get it, I have to. I'm hurting to many people. I hurt you, I hurt David, I hurt Shane," I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream and drown the world in it. I wanted to evaporate into my screams and disappear from all this, "And I hurt myself. I'm hurting myself by making this decision but... It's for the best."

Meghan was crying. I hated to see her cry. She was so beautiful when she smiled.

"Please, please, call me. I can't let you go," She put her hand on my hips, "I won't let you go."

"Maybe when things get easier, I'll call."

"Promise me, Joey. You have to promise me."

"I promise," And I didn't even know if it was a lie or not.

"Okay," She barely spoke. She looked up at my eyes, and I rested my forehead against here.

Kiss her, I told myself. Kiss her first for once.

And I did. I pressed my lips against hers, passionately this time.

Holding her here, next to me, with my lips on hers, felt right. It felt like we could make this work. For once it felt like we could actually somehow make this happen. Make 'us' happen.

But I couldn't. None of this would ever be right, not if I still felt such a strong desire for him.

For Shane.