The New Separation (Book 2)

Chapter 10

Colton

Somehow, I managed to make it through the week with minimal contact with Elliot. I hated it. I hated not talking to him, but I couldn't risk blurting out what had happened and breaking his heart. I couldn't do that to him.

But he already suspects that something's up. He's asked me repeatedly this week if I was okay. Of course, lying over text is easy, even though it hurt me so much to type back I'm fine all the time. I wasn't fine, not by a long shot.

I needed to calm myself down. I had a game in an hour that I needed to be focused for. It didn't matter right now if Elliot hadn't texted me all day. Maybe he finally gave up on me. Would that be better? No, I can't lose him, that's why I haven't said anything yet. Maybe this is why I can't seem to stop pacing back and forth across my small dorm room.

I checked my phone one more time. Was I really hoping he would text me? It was Friday afternoon, and he was totally out of school by now. Why hadn't he texted me yet?

That's when I noticed today's date next to the time. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. It was our anniversary and I didn't say anything to him all day. How much worse of a boyfriend can I possibly get?

I immediately dialed his number. I've been avoiding a phone call with him all week, but as much as I didn't want to lie to him - which is so much harder to do when talking - I couldn't just send a text, not today.

It kept ringing though. Ringing and ringing until his voicemail finally picked up.

"Hey, babe," I started, my voice only slightly shaking. Hopefully he won't notice that. "I just wanted to call, wish you a happy anniversary. Sorry I can't see you today. I wish I could. But, uh, call me later, okay? I guess you're working today or something. Call me or Skype me tonight." Skype? Why did I just suggest that? That's a terrible idea! "So, yeah. Call me. I have a game, but it should be done by the time you get out of work. I love you, Elliot."

I sighed as I hung up. That was a lot harder than it should have been. Especially that last bit. Could I honestly say I love him, after everything I did? He was absolutely perfect, in every way possible, and I had to go and screw things up, massively. How was that love? How was that being a good boyfriend?

Short answer: it wasn't.

And to think, it all stemmed from me refusing to admit I'm bi. Why couldn't I just tell Aleena I had a boyfriend from the start? Wouldn't that have saved everyone this trouble my lies have now caused?

I was an idiot. The biggest idiot ever because now I've completely ruined the best relationship I'll ever have. No one will ever be able to live up to the perfection that is Elliot, not that I'd ever deserve them. I don't even deserve Elliot. Maybe he was right to ignore my call.

Danny walked into the room then and I had to stop pacing. He wouldn't understand my issue, especially because I'm pretty sure if I told him the truth, he'd hate my guts.

I sat down on my bed with a sigh. That's when I noticed Danny was still standing by the door. He was looking at me weird.

"What?" I asked.

He shrugged, then sat at his desk. A few moments later, he looked at me again. "You good? 'Cause you don't look too good."

I started nodding, but then stopped, shaking my head instead. "I'm just feeling like a bad boyfriend right now, you know?"

"Oh."

It was all he said before turning his attention to his laptop that he was just turning on. I wasn't sure what to make of it, only that maybe he knew after all about Elliot, and that's why he was being so cold once my relationship was brought up. I shouldn't have said anything.