The New Separation (Book 2)

Chapter 13

Colton

I knew I needed to talk to him, but as soon as I said we should talk after dinner, I regretted it. He was mad at me. Of course he was. I didn't blame him at all. If anything, it made me feel even worse about everything I did.

Neither of us said anything to each other for the rest of dinner and dessert. What else was there to say, besides what I needed to? But that couldn't happen here, at the table in front of our families.

But when dessert finally ended, I couldn't bring myself to approach him again. There was so much awkwardness between us, it was hard to imagine how we used to fit so perfectly together, at one time. Except that was never going to happen again, not the way we once had it. But I needed to talk to him so maybe next year's Thanksgiving isn't quite as bad as this one.

I was currently still sitting at the table, although everyone else had left. From here, I could see into the kitchen, where Elliot was laughing away with his sisters as he helped clean up some of the dishes. He looked so happy, so unlike during dinner. He probably hates me. I already know he's mad at me for breaking our promise - for ending things between us - as he should be. But I didn't know how to fix it, if that was even possible. There probably wasn't a way, since I was such a screw up.

I was still watching him when he suddenly turned around and made eye contact with me. We stayed like that for a few awkward seconds, before I knew I needed to do it. I mouthed can we talk? to him, standing up from the chair.

He nodded, handing the dish towel off to Kris, then following me down the hall to his bedroom. It's been forever since I've been in here, but it basically looked the same as I remembered it. Although the one change I noticed were the blank spots on his walls that used to contain pictures of us. The walls looked so empty now - did he really have that many?

The soft click of his door made me turn around and face him. "You got taller." I don't know why I said it, but I did.

He shrugged, obviously not expecting that either. "Yeah, a little bit."

Neither of us said anything after that. This was awkward, standing next to him again like this. I didn't know how to talk to him anymore.

"I'm sorry," I finally blurted. "I was pretty awful to you."

"Yeah."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"Well you did."

I shook my head with a sigh. "You don't even know what I did. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you, but then I totally made everything worse, didn't I?"

He looked confused. "What did you do?" His voice was small, almost like he was afraid of the answer. Hell, I was afraid of the answer.

"I was invited to a party," I started slowly, which was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. "For the team. I kinda got drunk. And I ended up sleeping with someone. She had liked me for a while, and I knew that, but I was afraid to tell her I was with you because I have serious issues and things happened and I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you. I just felt too guilty and I didn't want to hurt you."

Anger flashed his face. I couldn't blame him. "Well I hope you're happy with her. I'm actually seeing someone too."

That took me by surprise. "Really?" I wanted to ask who or if I knew him or something, or even tell him that I wasn't actually with Aleena, but I couldn't bring myself to say any of that. Instead, I simply said, "Good for you." It hurt saying those words. But it was my fault he's moved on. I shouldn't have expected anything else.

"You know," Elliot started hesitantly. It was then that I realized we were still standing awkwardly in his room, me in the middle and him by the door. "I should probably go see if they still need help..."

I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, totally. Of course."

Elliot

Why did I have to lie? Of course I wasn't seeing anyone. Why did I say that?

Because he moved on from me, that's why. Just like I feared he would.

I couldn't bring myself to talk to him again for the rest of the night. There wasn't anything to say. He found someone he liked better and cheated on me with her because he couldn't be tied down to some high school guy. I get it. I wish he would have talked to me first, but apparently talking things out wasn't his go-to anymore.

At least he was gone now. I still can't believe he really came tonight. I don't know if our awkward conversation even helped anything. Probably not. All I got out of it was that he cheated on me and he's moved on, and I lied to him about also moving on.

"Hi!"

I brought myself out of my thoughts to see my little niece, Amanda, standing in the doorway of my bedroom. I smiled. "Hey, you. What are you up to?"

She giggled, bouncing up and down while she held onto the door frame for support. Where was Kris? Or Justin? How did she manage to get over here without anyone watching her?

"Come here," I said, getting off my bed and sitting on the floor a couple feet away from her. I held out my arms and watched as she took careful steps to me.

Amanda collapsed into my lap, laughing the whole time. She was almost two already, I couldn't believe how big she's getting. I wish my life was still as easy as hers - where the biggest struggle of the day was walking down the hallway by herself. She didn't have to deal with boyfriends - or ex-boyfriends - and all this crap.

Suddenly, Justin appeared in my doorway, letting out a sigh of relief when his eyes landed on his daughter. I laughed. "Lose something?"

He shook his head, chuckling, as he sat sown on the edge of my bed next to where I was leaning. "Alyssa was supposed to be watching her, but she fell asleep."

"Of course she did." I'm surprised she even agreed to watch Amanda, considering how much she disliked small children. I hope she never has her own kids, for their sake.

"How are you doing?" my brother-in-law asked after a moment, changing the subject. "With him being here today. I know it was probably tough."

I shrugged. "I don't even know if we can be friends anymore. Talking to him just felt... I don't know, weird, I guess."

He placed a hand on my shoulder reassuringly. "It'll get better eventually."

I sighed. "I hope so."