Letters To You

Hey You

Ive been kinda really sad lately.
More than usual.
Painfully sad.
I keep breaking down during practice.
I brake down in the shower.
And its because I'm loosing everyone.
I met you, and i remember one of my other friends hating you. They thought u were playing with our friends emotions. And i remember that i hated you for it, but secretly i sat there and admired you. Because i didnt have rhe courage to do that with the person i really wanted to.
Im still kind of missing that courage.
And i envy you for it.

But, you're leaving and honestly we aren't that close anymore.
But it is hurting.
My other friends lives are actually falling apart.
Most of them have started cutting now.
Its so painful to watch them fall apart.
Whats even more painful is hat i cant do anything about it.
It hurts.
Im loosing everyone.
The main person we all love and she is falling to pieces.
She is struggling and here isn't anything i can do.
I have no choice but to sit here and watch it happen.
I have to watch all of my friends suffer through their lives.
Watch my dad get drunk and yell at my mom.
Watch him yell at me and grip too tightly.
And the person who i could just talk to about pretty much anything is leaving.
I don't really know how to handle anything anymore.
I was remembering that night in the box. And i felt something.
And hen i continued to feel it.
But then something happened and it stopped.
And i never really thought about it but thats a terrifying concept.
That you can just stop loving someone.
But i don't think i really did.
I think my head just switched it to a different kind of love.
And i think thats ok.
As long as you realize it, and i didn't.
Im sorry that i left you, just kinda stuck.
And believe me when i say that. Because i really am sorry.
And i will miss you, maybe more than some people think i should.
But i will miss you.
Thanks for what you did for my life, and how great it was when we were all... together i guess is the best word for it.