What If I Told You A Story? ; Shawn Mendes

15. Plans

"Things are changing, they're either going to be really good or really bad."

•••

Avelyn

What wasn't meant to be a actual vacation in California was a whole week long. I meant to go just for the weekend and ended up leaving the following Saturday. It was a...eventful week. And by eventful I mean a crazy emotional filled week.

It was like I was riding a roller coaster and Shawn and Charlie were the twists and turns. The exciting ride up the hill and the scary drop down. One minute everything is amazing and then the next I'm confused or annoyed.

But as the week ended things had got normal. There were no fights or awkwardness it was just a good last night in California. I flew back to New York, Shawn as his team back to Canada and Charlie went to New Jersey.

So now it was Wednesday and Jaime had came over to my apartment. We sat in my living room talking about some pretty important things. At least they were for me, I'm talking life changing.

"Wait you're serious about moving? You can't leave me here in New York. You were my reason to stay." Jamie said.

I laughed, "What about your family and your boyfriend? There's more reasons for you to stay than for me."

"Uh hello I am a good reason for you to stay." She told me with a pout.

I nodded, "Yes I know that but I want to explore. New York has been the dream for the past few years but I want a new scenery."

"And you think Toronto is that new scenery? Is it because you want to keep exploring the city or because you want to explore someone?" She asked as she wiggles her eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes, "Jaime stop, you know I'm dating Charlie. And me moving there has nothing to do with Shawn, I really fell in love with it when I visited."

"Ugh I love Charlie and support y'all a lot but you know I've been wanting you and Shawn together the day y'all met for the first time." She confessed.

"Jaime, Shawn and I have and will always continue to be friends. I told you that in the beginning and now here we are. Still just friends." I told her.

I got up and off the couch to grab some pink lemonade from my fridge. She got up and walked over to the island as I grabbed a cup for her too.

"Ugh Avelyn that's a load of bullshit! I'm your best friend, I know you like the back of my hand. And I know you like Shawn a little more than just friends." She told me.

I didn't know whether to be annoyed that she's bringing this up or laugh as the fact that she yelled bullshit.

"Jaime I am not getting into this right now." I told her as I set her cup down in front of her.

She rolled her eyes, "Why?"

"Because I don't want to talk about him like that. I think you forget I have a boyfriend, whom I am happy with and like a lot." I told her as I moved back over to the couch.

"If that's what helps you sleep at night." She muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"Come Avelyn, I see how different you act when you're around both guys. When you're with Charlie, yeah you're happy and smiling but when you're with Shawn. It's like you two are meant for each other, like you two are so alike but different. You guys are just so...so comfortable with each other and I don't know. It's different, like y'all were made for each other. Like the universe brought you guys together as cheesy as it sounds." She said sounding like she read this in a book.

Hearing the way she explained it all made me feel guilty. I don't mean to act so different with each of them. I really do like Charlie, I mean that one incident in California was one thing. But after he was sweet and silly and just amazing.

I really started to like him, like more than friends. I was happy and glad to be dating him. And my feelings for Shawn? Well they're not going to go away over night, or even a few weeks. Especially not when he does cute shit that causes all the buried feelings to rise up to the top.

And it's not like I want him to talk sweetly to me or be so sweet. I don't go looking for Shawn to show me affection or interest. He just does and with that he brings up feelings I don't want to feel for him.

I want to fight it, I want to forget all the feelings I feel for him. It's not fair to Charlie and it's not fair to myself. To like someone as much as I do and know you can't have them or be with them hurts. It's like having something you want right in front of you but yet it's so far that you can't reach it.

"Jaime, the difference between them and my relationship with each. Is that one is my best friend and the other is my boyfriend." I told her really wanting her to drop it.

She sighed, "Fine you can deny it all you want. Fool them and yourself but you don't make me dumb. Just saying."

"I'm not trying to, I'm just stating facts. So are you going with me this weekend to go look at apartments or not?" I asked wanting to change the subject.

She nodded before walking over, "Why is that even a question?"

We then sat back down on my couch and scrolled looking at apartment adds on my computer. The whole time she was writing down the addresses and price along with the number. I tried to keep focus on everything she was saying but I couldn't.

I kept thinking about what she said, I then thought about last week. Being in California and how I did feel different around both of them. And I hated myself for doing that, because I had the opposite feelings for them. I was the happiest and more myself with Shawn and then it's like witch Charlie I didn't want to mess things up. So I was more watching what I said or what I did.

But it's because I really do like Charlie, and I don't want to mess up what we have. And I really don't want to break his heart, I don't want to lead him on either. So I'm trying my best to really get rid of my feelings for Shawn. I was going to get rid of them, I wasn't sure how but I was. Charlie was going to come first for me.

But there was one thing contradicting what I was thinking. And that was where I wanted to move. I wanted to distance myself from Shawn and my feelings for him. Yet here I am looking for apartments in his country, in his city.

I was getting closer.

Authors Note//
Hahahah back with a late night update
Again it was probably sucky (ps I only say that with my late night updates cause I'm probably not thinking things through and misspelling shit lmao)
Anyways let me know what you think
Until Next Time Peace Lovelies✌🏼💚