The Outbreak

Chapter 24

Scott POV

I can tell that Stiles is nervous as we drive back towards my base, which is very far away from Stiles' hospital base. This drive seems even longer. Maybe that's because Stiles' nerves have me worried. I don't like seeing him nervous. I just wish I could reassure him that everything will be okay, but there's only so much I can do. I'm already holding onto his hand and squeezing it gently as Mitch continues to drive towards my base. I exchange a look with Meg, who is also sitting in the back with us. She can tell Stiles is nervous too. Apart from the overwhelming smell of anxiety, Stiles is tapping his leg up and down constantly. Something he always seems to do when he's nervous. His ADHD would make it harder for him to sit still when he's nervous too. Overall though, Stiles is containing his nerves quite well, but it will always be obvious to me, even if he masked them perfectly. I just know Stiles too well and I love him too much.

"Hey, it's going to be okay, Stiles. I promise." I tell him in a quiet voice as Mitch and some other guy talk happily up the front. Stiles turns to me and gives me a small smile, but I can still see the hint of worry in his eyes. I lean in and give him a gentle kiss on the cheek, not caring about the people around us. "As I said before, I'm not going to let them hurt you." I tell Stiles in a firm voice. "I know, I know." Stiles replies, relaxing slightly, but still quite nervous.

"Just don't think about it. Think about something else. Think about how nice it'll be to see your father and your friends again." Meg suggests. A more genuine smile appears on Stiles' face and he visibly starts to relax more.

"Yeah, that'll be nice to see them agin. Especially my dad. I know it hasn't been as big of a gap of time apart like last time, but I still miss him heaps." Stiles explains.

"That's fair enough." I reply, nodding in understanding. I frown a little at the worry still behind Stiles' eyes. I exchange another sad look with Meg.

"What do you think they'll think of us? As a couple?" I ask, both to distract Stiles and it is also a genuine question that I have. Sure, my friends know that I'm in love with Stiles, but there's no way they could know that we're together now, especially with what circumstances brought us together. As dangerous and terrifying as they were, I'm happy about what happened. If none of that occurred, then maybe I would not be in the car with Stiles as my boyfriend, holding his hand, trying to calm him down.

"Uh... I don't know. They should be okay with it. They've got way more important things to worry about than our relationships and sexuality." Stiles replies.

"That's true." I laugh for a few moments. I can't help but think of Lydia and Kira though. They were the ones that wanted me to confess my feelings to Stiles that day at school. I'm sure they'll both be excited and ecstatic to hear the news that I finally told Stiles that I love him, even with all these years being apart... And I'm also sure they'll be thrilled to know that Stiles loves me too. It honestly still feels too good to be true. I worry about what Stiles might think about me. I know I've changed since high school. I've lost most of my optimism and hope. This new world has beaten it out of me. I don't know if there ever will be a cure. I've killed so many of the infected. I lost count years ago. I still feel guilty about it sometimes, but generally, I have no remorse putting monsters like that down, since there is no way to save them. It's better to protect the living. I know my teenager self would hate the way I've changed and yell at me to find a better way, but he hasn't seen what I've seen or gone through what I've gone through. He hasn't had to live without Stiles for five long and painful years, thinking that he was dead. That's what really drove me into despair. I blamed myself for not being able to save Stiles for years. I cried myself to sleep a lot and of course had many nightmares. My mom, the Sheriff and the rest of my friends all tried to help me, but there was only so much they could do. Coping with my loss, grief and fear was to just kill the zombie creatures. It really helped. I almost enjoyed killing them. The thought makes me sick, but I was broken. I'm still broken. I'll always be broken, no matter what anyone tries to do. Not even Stiles can fix me completely.