The Outbreak

Chapter 16

Scott POV

10 minutes later, Stiles and I walk back to the warehouse in silence. Stiles seems a bit more distant from me, refusing to look at me. He keeps his distance as well. I can smell his worry, sadness and anxiety very clearly though. He's probably really worried about me. I think I would be too, but I'll be okay... I hope. If I can make my mom's death mean something, then I'll be okay. I can't let her sacrifice be for nothing. I can't let anyone's deaths be for nothing. I will do anything to stop this apocalypse, even if it kills me. I might not have the same type of hope and determination as Stiles, but at least it's something. I still feel pretty hopeless, especially since my mom is dead and never coming back, but at least I can try and get justice for her death. I can do that by wiping out these stupid infected. They aren't human. There's no turning back for them. There's no cure. All we can do is save who is still left in this world, those who haven't been bitten and aren't infected. I glance over at Stiles, who has a harsh expression on his face.

"Stiles, are you okay? I haven't even asked how you're coping with all of this. I know that you two were close." I ask, worried for my friend. I want to be here to support him if he needs it, just like I know he will do for me. He has been doing that for me. "I'll be fine, Scott. Don't worry. The overwhelming and initial grief won't last forever. I hope you know that too." Stiles grins at me weakly, finally looking at me.

"If it's about what I said about killing the infected..." I begin, my voice trailing off slightly. I don't know where I'm going with this. "It's fine. I guess I was just a bit surprised about how much your attitude has changed, that's all." Stiles shrugs as we walk. "Me too. I guess this outbreak changed me more than I ever expected or would have liked it too. I can't really turn back now though. I am going to stick by what I said. The infected are destroying this world, causing so much pain and grief. I don't think that we will be able to turn them back to who they were before. From the moment they are bitten, they have changed. They're already gone. They're already dead. That's why I want you to shoot me if I get bitten." I reply as we get closer to the warehouse. "I don't like what this world is doing to you, Scott. It's corrupting you." Stiles tells me warily. My heart aches a little at that. I never wanted to change. I never wanted to kill anyone and I certainly never wanted to lose hope. I'm supposed to be a true alpha, a leader. Yet, I haven't really felt like either of those things in years. I keep silent, not sure how I would reply to Stiles' comment, even if I wanted to.

"I'm so sorry about your mom, Scott. I know it must be really hard." Stiles says after a few more moments of silence. We stop near the entrance of the warehouse. I turn to face Stiles, tears forming in my eyes as sadness threatens to overwhelm me again. "It's isn't fair. Why her, of all people? She had done nothing wrong. She didn't deserve this." I say in a shaky voice, my bottom lip trembling slightly. Stiles stares at me sadly for a moment before pulling me into a hug. I quickly hug him back. "I know it's not fair. It's never fair. The world isn't fair." Stiles sighs as I bury my face into his shirt and start to cry. At the very least, I'm glad that I still have Stiles with me. I don't know if I would be able to cope if I lost Stiles as well. "It's my fault. I should have been here to protect her. I should have saved her. I'm no leader. It should have been me that was bitten and killed." I admit as I continue to sob, letting all my emotions out. I think I'll be a mess for a while. It'll take me some time to pull myself together and get my thoughts straight to figure out a plan on how to wipe out the infected. For now, I will shoot any of them that I see as soon as I can, no hesitation.

"Scott, don't blame yourself. This is not your fault. You couldn't have saved her. It was her choice to jump in front of that little kid. In my eyes, she died a hero. She sacrificed herself so that the kid could live. So you could live. Your mom would hate it if you blamed yourself for this. I want to really reiterate the point that this was not your fault. Trust me, blaming yourself for your mom's death isn't worth it. Believe me, I know. I've been there." Stiles tells me in a calm, soothing voice. I forgot for a moment that Stiles has had to deal with this grief too, but at a much younger age and he was with his mom when she died. That would be heartbreaking. At least I know that Stiles understands how hard this is for me. None of our other friends would know the feeling though. Except for maybe Malia and Derek. As for everyone else, they might live further away from their parents now, but at least they know they are alive. I continue to cry into Stiles' chest, feeling warm, safe and secure in his arms. "It'll be okay, Scotty. You'll be okay." Stiles whispers as he holds onto me more tightly.