Suffocated

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    Its evening and I am getting ready for my appointment with the doctor.

I am not nervous. I am kinda used to this now.

I wear a white tee with a cute pink flower printed on it and black jeans.

As I am tying my hair into its usual french braid notice that my blonde roots are growing back in. Time to dye them today night then!!

I slip on my hazel contacts and leave the apartment.

Something in my mind is clicking on the name Mist.

Something like the things I have learnt to forget with the help of strong drugs and adrenaline.

I exit my apartment and take the elevator down.

It is funny that only a single light is on inside. Maybe they switched off the other two because of lift maintainance.

I press the button '0' on the elevator and it starts descending in its usual sloe speed.

Suddenly; I feel like the wind is knocked out of me again.

My lungs start burning.

Am I claustrophobic? I don't think so.

The chanting begins again. Mist...Mist...

And for the first time in three years; I feel scared. Maybe the drugs have stopped working.

Or maybe my body has gotten used to the drugs.

I take a deep breath in and look upwards. The elevator has reached floor 7 when the chanting stops.

My lungs become normal again.

I take in a shaky breath; and turn back to the elevator's mirror to smooth my hair down.

And I see her again. In the mirror. The woman with her back turned and chocolate brown hair. Chanting the same thing.

And I scream loudly.

                    *     *    *
As the elevator finnaly reaches ground 0; I run away from it; my entire body trembling.

That woman...I think I know her.

My mind is searching when Evelyn's car comes.

I slip in silently without telling her anything and give her a bright smile.

After all; I am great at pretending.  I have been doing it like for my entire life.

We reach the clinic in about fifteen minutes and we go inside

"All right Slyvia?" Evie asks.

"Never been better!" I lie as we go inside.

                 *    *   *
"Name?" Dr Reaver; the psychotherapist asks me.

"Slyvia Johns" I say.
The name I have been using for like two years now.
I think inwardly.

"Okay; Slyvia..." Dr Reaver tells me after hearing me out.

"I think that all you are having is a traumatic disorder. It happens when you have a lot of stress but you can't handle it." He says.

"Ummm... okay. So ?" I say nervously.

"Let me ask you one thing first. Have you ever  been under the influence of any drugs? I mean being a fighter pilot and all."

"No. Never taken any drugs in my life" I lie easily.

"Then I recommend you these sleeping pills." He says.

"Oh! But I am allergic to them! I tend to throw up!" My stupid mouth blurts out before my mind can think.

The doctor and Evelyn look at  me with shock.

"But ma'am you just said you never took any drugs" Dr Reaver says; raising his eyebrows.

I am dumbfounded.

I can't let my cover be blown like this.

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