Suffocated

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My dream just came true..
I think; my head whirling.

The dream I had dreamt a few minutes ago came true just after I woke up.

She was there.

The woman.

In the mirror with her back turned to me.

Chanting the same thing again.

But now she said something more; something exactly same as she said in my dream.

Mist...Michael and Celest.

The names of my parents; which is had succeeded in avoiding thinking about.

But not now. There names; just their names have opened new wounds.

And the hidden past stored in my mind has opened.

The effect of the drugs;even adrenalin has completely gone.

I remember my past. Very freakin' clearly.

Just one thing is more that was not there in the dream. A message.

Written; or rather scratched  on the mirror.

Your sins will be punished.

And I am scared.

Should I try suicide?

Because this definitely isn't  a hallucination.

I brush away all my thoughts and check the time.

2:30 a.m.

Half an hour before my flight.

Good; because I really need the adrenalin right now.

To forget everything.

                 *     *     *
I take the stairs down to the ground this time. No elevators.

I rush; and unlock my car and start my way towards the airport.

No over thinking.

I tell myself clearly.

I make it just in time and Drew greets me with a grin.

God; his chocolate brown eyes and blonde hair and that smile.

(Okay; I understand that maybe I like him just because he looks a bit like Bieber.)

I just want to melt.

But; I keep up a calm composure and smile at him.

"Hey Sylvie!!" He greets me with the usual nickname.

I grin back.

God; this person really makes my mood happy.

"Ready to go?" I ask him.

"Born ready" he says with a catchy grin as we take our seats in the cockpit.

I put on my headphone and wait for the usual instructions. Drew does the same.

We start the flight at dot three a.m.

Drew has the first duty of keeping the border security of the alloted area and communication.

And I; as usual; handle the plane.

The noise made by it taking  off and the wild speed makes a huge rush of adrenalin in my body and I can't help but grin.

"The usual Fast and Furious Slyvia". Drew says; noticing my grin.

I nod; and both of us then just focus on our duties.

My watch beeps at three thirty a.m. and a sudden scare grips me.

What if I felt suffocated  again?

What if the mist came  again? The plane could go spiraling out of my control.

Maybe Drew and I would die.

Okay; maybe my only intention to be a fighter pilot was the high hope of dying as all my earlier suicide attempts had failed.

But that doesn't mean I want Drew  to die.

I take a deep; shaky breath.

Just concentrate. Don't over think; Mist.
I say to myself.

Oh. My. God.

I just remember- I used my real name. My real  name.

I remember my past now.

So my mind used my real name.

And my real name is Mist.

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