Notes:
Mida | HI! guys i am soooo sorry for this big DELAY! like u have no idea. erm... Happy Sammy Birthday!:D well two 3days later but better late than never right?:D Um, expect strong feels to hit you. i personally cried writing this.
Yuki | I’m the worst beta ever. Why does my schedule hate me… This is not Mida’s fault guys so please don’t hate her! Me and my lousy schedule/computer/emails messed up this time! –hides behind something-
Please enjoy this chapter created mostly by Mida.
Disclaimer | We do not own Supernatural nor its characters and the plot is owned by Mida_Malek.
January 2006
Dean ran after Cas.
“Cas, please wait! Please, we can fix this ok?”
Castiel turned around, an emotion that pains him reflected on his sad eyes.
“Who says I want to fix this Dean?”
Dean froze. What the hell was Cas talking about? Of course he wanted to fix this. He loved Dean, didn’t he? Why wouldn’t Cas want to fix their relationship?
“Cas? Baby please. Don’t run away like this…We can be like how we used to be.”
“Who the hell are you to tell me not to run away?” Castiel stepped forward and harshly shoved Dean backwards.
“Who the fuck do you think you are? You’re just a coward. All you ever did was run away. All you ever did was leave me feeling like a used tissue. You threw me away Dean, now you don’t get to ask me to stay.”
“Cas…”
“Goodbye Mr. Winchester.”
Dean gasped, waking up quickly and feeling the thin sweat that stuck to his skin. His cheeks were wet with tears, old and new. This was the 5th time he’d woken up this week and he knew he wouldn’t be able to get any sleep later. It was getting worse and worse though. His mind’s version of Castiel was getting crueler every night.
Or maybe he was getting more realistic?
After all, everything he said were all true. Dean was a coward and all he ever did was run away, like how he ran away from Cas. God, he wanted Cas back. He needed him so badly.
“Fuck it.” He muttered under his breath, getting out of his king-sized bed and moving towards the mini bar in his room. He grabs the bottle of whiskey and pours himself a full glass and refills another after he quickly downs it in one swing.
He was worthless. Might as well just drown himself in alcohol.
* * *
He doesn’t remember how he got on a karaoke stage or why he was singing to a bar crowd but he was. Ironic how his drunken mind chose the song that was also about Cas.
“Life is bigger
It's bigger than you and you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up
That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
