When the day ends, night engulfs me in a cold blanket,
Lonely yet comforting,
It doesn't matter if there's someone beside me or not there at all,
I'm still alone, and i seem to forget that there are people around me,
It seems as though when the warm light of the sun fades so does my 'happy' memories,
Except for the ones with her,
When i think of her i don't see her smile or the way she loved me and laughed with me,
I see the serrated edge of a stainless steel blade,
I see the blood running down my spine and the ignorance of the people around me,
When i here her name my blood doesn't boil with anger it runs cold,
Because it reminds me of the nights i cried alone,
And the days that i sought refuge in my mind,
I'm a weirdo,
I do weird things,
Like hang out with people who finally accept me,
Except they don't,
I'm a weirdo,
I dress weird,
Except the clothes i wear help me plaster myself with fake confidence so that i can get through the day without freaking out,
Yes,
The sun disappears and so do my 'happy' memories,
Like the ones were my friends don't smile for a millisecond so oh god they must hate me,
They are upset oh shit its happening again, i ruined this, i caused this I'm gonna get thrown out again,
Except i don't,
because its all in my head,
Because even though i don't have a diagnoses from a trained professional i think i have anxiety, or Maybe its ADD,or ADHD, or maybe I've just finally fucking lost it, Or
maybe I'm the weirdo that everyone already thinks i am.
YOU ARE READING
My poems
PoetryThese are just a series's of different poems I write in my spare time, most of these are written to be spoken, some aren't meant to make sense, these are just to write down my thoughts in a way that makes me feel artistic For obvious reasons these a...
