My poems

I Tried

Theres blood on my hands,
I know because i can taste it when i bite my nails while talking to you,
I bite them cause I'm nervous, what if you find out,
Find out i cant look at my chest in the mirror,
Yes, I'm genderfluid im not trans,
But i dont need boobs to be feminine and i can wear a bikini to the pool every time i swim but i dont want to,
There's blood on my hands,
I didn't kill someone but my health hasn't been great lately,
You dont know cause i dont tell you,
I asked for more medicine, I've been without it for three weeks,
Can't you see I'm suffering?
My nose bleeds if i breath to heavily I'm dizzy from standing up i need help,
You say eat healthy but I'm 15!
Your the one controlling my diet,
You say sleep more, i try,
but my anxiety is so bad i cant stop thinking at night,

There's blood in my mouth,
Its sliding down my throat,
Because I'm to scared to get up in class and ask for a tissue,
My teachers know I'm not healthy,
But i lie and smile and say I'm okay,
Cause i dont ant them to send me home,
Because then you'd be angry and i cant handle you being disappointed in me again but i try,
I'm trying,
It might take me an hour to get out of bed but i still make it to school,
I'm trying so hard,
I cant concentrate in class, my head spins at simple mathematical formulas,

I didnt eat today,
Again,
This isn't my choice i dont know how to cook and my siblings ate all the bread,
My friends give me what they can,
A juice box and an Oreo is what i ate today mum,
I'm not anorexic this isn't my choice,
I don't hate my body and i want to be healthy please stop blaming me,

Please dont be disappointed in me, i swear i really tried this time.