WHEN LOVE AND HATE COLLIDE

4

Flashback (three years ago)

I was walking down the stairs when I accidentally slipped from the last step and  hurt my self. Literal akong napaupo sa sahig and to my surprise ay may mga bisita pala si kuya Calyxis and they were all staring at me as if I am some kind of a comedian.

"Shit." Bulong ko sa sarili ko when I saw a particular man who seem to not care at all.

He was just sitting their as he browse his phone. Boring!

Inalalayan ako ng mga katulong namin sa bahay but I shove them away. Nakakahiya! Bakit kasi nagpopolish na sila ng floor eh hindi pa naman linggo. Nakakainis.

"Get off me! You are a bunch of st*pid id*ots!" Sigaw ko at nagmartsa patungong kusina.

I don't care whatever their impressions will be. Isa pa, kilala naman na ako sa school bilang maldita. So why would I waste my time pretending to be someone that I am not.

My kuyas are super hotties in school. They are class achievers, unlike me. They always get awards that they truly deserve, unlike me. They are always successful in whatever things they do, unlike me. They are kind and have fascinating personalities, unlike me. Nag-iisa akong anak at kapatid nilang babae which definitely made me their direct opposite. So opposite. Others would even say that I am the black sheep in the family but the hell I care. I may totally a bitch but I don't really give a d*mn to whatever they may think of me. As long as I get what I want then everything's cool.

"You did it again."

Hindi man ako lumingon, I know for sure that it was him. I have been so immuned and overdosed with that scent and voice. Akmang lalagpasan ko na sana siya when he pulled my arm. I stood emotionless in front of him. He was staring at me with eyes full of adoration and love but I tried sweeping them off my sight. Ayoko nang mabulag pa. Masakit ang magmahal at umasa.

"Let's talk." Aniya sa mahinang boses.

"You are talking." Bored kong sagot and stared at the ref instead of looking at him. Baka hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko.

"But you aren't." Said he and caressed the sides of my lips. How I missed his touch. "I didn't want to hurt you baby."

"But you did. I was deeply wounded." Nakatungong sagot ko.

I am trying to hold my tears kaya ayoko siyang makita. I may break down and hug him and pull him back kapag nakita ko kung gaano siya nagsusumamong patawarin ko siya. Because I can't and I know that I shouldn't. Mali 'to. Maling-mali.

"Let's start over agai..."

I immediately cut him off.

"You know that we can't!" Mahinang sigaw ko sa kanya. Ngayon ay hindi ko na napigilan ang mga luhang kusang namamalisbis pababa ng pisngi ko. "This is wrong in the first place. You cab't love me and I shouldn't love you." Humahagulgol na wika ko.

"Anong ibig sabihin nito Caliza?"

Para akong naitulos sa aking kinatatayuan nang marinig ang boses ni kuya Calyxis. We were both shocked when kuya pulled me to hide behind his back. He faced him.

"Totoo ba?" Tanong ni kuya.

I was expecting him to deny everything. To clear things up so we won't live in mess. But I was  wrong again. He boldly uttered the words I never expected him to say most especially to my kuya.

"I love her dude."

I can't see his face while saying those  words yet I know for sure that he is hurting too.