WHEN LOVE AND HATE COLLIDE

3

I was irritated the whole day. And when I say "the whole day" ibig sabihin mula nang magising ako and maybe until I fall asleep tonight. That man really has his ways of getting into my nerves. I hate him from bits to pieces. So rude, ungentleman and egoistic. I want to skin him to death. I don't even know his purpose of forcing me to stay under his roof. Daig niya pa kasi ang mga magulang ko sa pagiging istrikto. Ang guess what? For a month na nasa puder niya ako, ngayon niya lang naalalang magkomento sa mga ginagawa ko. Ano bang paki niya? He is just my boss and I am his OJT personnel slash housemate.

"Ma'am nasa dining area na po ang kapatid niyo at si Mr. Ferrer." Salubong sa akin ni Delia. Isa sa mga katiwala sa bahay na 'to at kasing edad ko lang siguro.

Tumango na lamang ako at nagtungo sa hapagkainan kahit na wala akong ganang kumain. I extremely hate the thought of eating with the man I loath. But what can I do if my kuya's there? I haven't asked him for my pasalubongs yet.

"Good evening." Labas sa ilong na bati ko nang makapasok sa dining area.

But to my surprise, hindi lang pala kaming tatlo ang narito. There are three other men and a woman whom I think will dine with us too. But out of all the people on the table, sa babaeng katabi ni Mr. Ferrer tumigil ang paningin ko. She looks so elegant and classy. So full of poise and maturity. I can even sense her oozing confidence and stoic personality.

I don't know why or what I feel but my heart beat suddenly went into a race. 'Yung feeling na parang nasaktan ang isang parte ng puso ko pero hindi ko alam kung bakit.

Nabalik lamang ako sa huwisyo nang biglang tumikhim si kuya and motioned me to sit beside him. The three men were staring at me with curiosity clouding their eyes. Bago paman ako makapagpakilala ay naunahan na ako ni kuya.

"This is Caliza. Our youngest. She stays with X, our man, since we are all in abroad." Ani kuya na parang alien. Who's X? Pangalan ba 'yun ng kung sino?

All of them introduced themselves at nalaman kong matagal na pala silang magkakilala. They were all classmates in college and took the same path, business. They also happened to be business partners. Muli akong napatingin sa gawi ng nag-iisang babae sa grupo nila na hanggang ngayon ay hindi parin nagpapakilala. Not that she owes me an introduction of herself pero diba? Lahat sila nakipagkamay na, siya na lang 'yung hindi? Don't tell me, she has an attitude problem? Naku girl, hindi kita uurungan kung pagiging maldita lang ang pag-uusapan.

"How old are you Caliza?" Nakangiting tanong ni Garnette. He sits in front of me and has this happy go lucky aura. I like him, I must admit.

"20." Tipid ngunit nakangiting sagot ko.

"Are you staying at the condo tonight, babe?" Dinig kong tanong nung babae.

Sinong babe ang kinakausap niya? Malamang hindi ako, hindi naman babe ang pangalan ko eh. Hindi kasi ako nakatingin sa gawi niya. Mukhang nakakahiya kapag tinitigan ko siya.

"Yeah." So brief yet I know that voice. So, it's the g'friend huh?

Kaya pala palaging nawawala kasi sa condo nila ng girlfriend niya tumitira.
I guess, he is no longer a virgin. Yuck!
😝

We started eating as soon as the food had been served. I just pretended as if they don't exist. I want to talk to my kuya but mukhang hindi naman ako papansinin niyan. Busy kasi siya sa pakikipagkamustahan sa mga frienda niya. Tssss..

"Do you have a boyfriend Caliza?" Out   of the blue na tanong ng kung sino.

Hindi naman kasi ako nakatingin sa kanya when he asked.

"Uhuh." Bored na sagot ko without even glancing at him. Why would I pretend to be interested eh sa hindi naman talaga. And why is he even asking? Is he my guardian or something?

"Oh." Mukhang naaamaze na komento ng katabi nung nagtanong kasi hindi ko na matandaan ang mga pangalan nila.

"Who's the lucky guy then?"

Doon na ako napatigil sa pagsubo when I heard that so unfamiliar voice yet alam ko kung kanino nanggaling. Dalawa  lang naman kaming babae dito, alangan namang tanungin ako ng katulong ni Mr. Ferrer ano? I slightly tilted my head para makita ko ang reaksyon niya. She is genuinely smiling at me. 'Yung walang halong sarkasmo. I tried stretching my lips to form a smile but I don't know why I just don't feel happy with her existence.

"Why so curious Cess?" Tanong nang katabi while holding her hand as if playing with her fingers is a usual thing to do.

She pouted her lips and I must compliment her for still being beautiful. Kung ako marahil 'yun ay nagmukha na akong baboy.

"She is so attractive babe that is why I am asking." Sweet na aniya at inihilig pa talaga ang ulo sa balikat ng suplado niyang nobyo.

I wanna rotate my eyeballs with their oh so creepy sweetness. Yuck!

"I see." Ani Mr. Ferrer habang nakataas  ang sulok ng labi nito. Though their questions weren't answered yet feeling ko ay nagtapos na ang conversation sa sinabi niyang "I see".

Muli akong yumuko and busied my self cutting my steak. But a certain urge pulled me to rise my head and look in their direction once again which I certainly should have not done. He was also looking at me while sipping his wine. Agad akong nagbawi ng tingin dahil hindi ko kaya ang intensity ng pagkakatitig niya. Masyadong mabigat at nakakakaba. 'Yung pakiramdam na parang may tinatago siya sa likod ng mga tingin na 'yun. I just can't explain it verbally but my heart literally beats so fast.

The whole dinner became awkward for us or maybe just for me. I never get to see his face again and I totally became a ghost the entire night. Wala kasing pumapansin sa akin. I was halfway through the stairs when somebody grabbed my hand and pulled me to the second floor. My heart was pounding hard inside  my chest when we reached my room. It was dark and I can't see anything but a familiar scent invaded my nose and I just know it's him.

"I'll be gone for a month." Aniya and brushed his lips against my cheek.

Kung hindi lang madilim ay malamang kitang-kita niya kung gaano kapula ang mukha ko ngayon. I know for an instance that I was blushing. I tried pushing him to put distance between us but I don't know why I suddenly lost all the will and strength that I have. He caressed my cheek and that's  it. I can no longer contain my self.

"But I'll keep in touch, baby." Said he and planted another kiss on my forehead.

Nanghihina akong umupo sa paanan ng aking kama. I know that this is all wrong, I am wrong, we are wrong but I can't hold my feelings for him anymore. Napahagulgol na lamang ako when I remembered how it all started.