(⚠️⚠️Trigger warning!!!!!!: Bullying, mentions of self harm, harassment, self harm!!!! You have been warned enjoy the story)
Buford P.O. V.
Baljeet. I really hurt him that much, didn't I? I always was like this to him in middle school growing up. Back then he never had a problem with it. Then again that's when we were kids and it was insults not full blown physical. I stare hesitant with the guilt of knowing I should have stopped but didn't instead letting it happen. Slowly I opened the door before seeing him crying on the floor. I-I did this.
I hurt him and broke him down so much. I didn't want to. I should've stopped. I should have listened to Isabella since we talked before school started today. He backed away scaredly, shaking, hissing in pain when landing on his left arm.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I dragged you into a nightmare the never should have happened." He kept scooting back to get away.
"Leave me alone, Buford! you hurt me and I don't... I don't want to be fooled by this." I did this, it's all my fault.
He looked confused by me getting up, only to walk to the door wishing I had a second chance at being nicer. A second chance where I didn't let things go this far. I was just a bully. No an abusive human I realized that now. I'll make it up to him, or at least try.
*time skip to school ending for the day *
All day I tried talking with him without anyone around but he had this dead eyed stare that gave off more signs than the quiet kid. The day was over and I couldn't find him so I walked home alone. Today seemed to only drag than go fast. I'm not walking with anyone but after a while of walking off campus I see my so called "friends" kicking at something or shall I say someone.
Quietly I walk up behind the them seeing Baljeet. What the hell?! Without thinking but with reason and with a loud THUD, then. As they held their heads together in pain, they fall to the ground, groaning and deservingly so. As they complained about the pain I made my move quick to carry a passed out Baljeet.
I ran as fast as I could to my house not knowing where else to take him. Entering the quiet abyss of a house I trudged toward the kitchen seeing an added note On the right of the fridge. I didn't need to read the note on the door. On another business trip I could care less about (I didn't know what bufords parents do in the show but I'll let them have a job).
I grabbed the Med kit from under the sink plus some juices from the fridge. Walking towards and up the stairs to my room setting him light and gentle on the bed aware of his wounds. Placing the medical kit on top of the covers. I didn't know what to use for his injuries but I sure as hell need to stop the bleeding on his arm and cheek.
Rushing to the bathroom for towel wetting it then scrunching till damp. Once I was back in my room I saw he was awake but, scared as all hell. His wandering eyes finally landed on me and he froze.
"I need to uh clean your wounds. I don't know how without it hurting but I'll manage," he stayed there tearing up looking down.
"Stop acting nice buford. You're my bully. The tough guy. I'm the nerd who just tries to stay out of your way. Yet it never works."
I walked gently in front of him taking note of his spaced out demeanor.
"They are your friends. Why did you pick me up and pull me here? I'm weak. Still I thank you." He sniffles a little looked towards the window at nothing.
"I picked you up cause you were being hurt. I know I don't deserve your trust hell you have every right to hate me. It's really complicated to explain why I've bullied you for... For all those years, but even if I explain.... it won't make any difference to what I've done. I just hope one day I'll be forgiven Beljeet." He stayed silent and just stared.
I lift his sleeve slightly and he panicked. He started pulling away and tried moving away. What the hell? Wait, I know for a fact he only did this when he did something.... I grabbed his upper arm and lifted the sleeve up as well. I let go instantly once I heard the sobbing.
"L-l-let m-me...." he broke down crying, sobbing, and yelling into my chest he softly punched at.
"This is all your fault! Every ounce of my hate and anger filled tears are you... your.. your fault!" He cried more although he started clinging to my shirt for dear life.
I wasn't shocked to find out I hurt him so much. I caused this there's no denying. The last time he did it because of the stress of school. I tried hugging him. Angry at myself for going too far. When he felt the embrace though still sobbing he cried more into the hug.
"I'm sorry. Baljeet. I'm so sorry. I know it's not much after all these years but there's just things you wouldn't understand. Not even I understand why? Or how I got these fe- these things that all point to you. I'm sorry." He cried for a while longer.
After a few minutes had passed thats when I felt it. I felt tiny soft hits on my chest. I let it happen. I let him get what he wanted out of his system.
He's still mad at me and it's all my fault. He kept hitting although it didn't hurt but the words that came with the hits...
"I hate myself!", "I hate you!", "why can't I just die?!". With the last one I couldn't help it anymore he may be mad at me but that was a straw that shouldn't be passed.
I pushed him against the bed and pinned him while tears spilt from my eyes. He was shocked staying still for a while. I think he hates me even more now.
"You shouldn't wish you were dead! I'd rather you hate me and yell at me and punish me for what I've done to you Baljeet! Hate me! Wish death on me! Not yourself! I'm sorry..."
I was gonna pull away from him, my nerd, my crush. I pushed up until something new happened. He shed tears again, reached back, before I knew it he slapped me with force I've never noticed he had. After that we froze for what seemed like a month before he continued to berate me with punches.
He threw a sloppy and aggravated right hook that I dodged but stumbled with my balance. He tripped forward after that one attack as I fell backwards losing complete balance when he knocked into me. When we landed we were both sniveling and weeping messes.
"What just happened?" I asked I've never seen this side of him.
"I.. I was so mad at you. I'm confused. Ive never hit anyone before. I don't understand how all this happened either. I'm not supposed to let my emotions get this far. You bring... bring the worst out of me! What's the matter with me?!" He was rambling like he always has.
I looked at him and sighed.
"Baljeet... I LIKE YOU! I didn't understand why but I thought it was wrong for liking a guy! I didn't understand these feelings but, it grew, okay?! And- and I bullied you so I could suppress the feelings. Although It just kept coming back and much too strong. I'm sorry." I was rambling by this point but I'm paying attention to my words slightly.
Maybe this could be my new start. Or I've made things worse by doing everything like this. If only things could've been different. If only I'd chose to be different.
