Replay ; Brendon Urie

I

it was midnight. well, close to midnight. she was trying to sleep. tossing here and there trying to find some sleep, but her eyes wouldn't let her. her eyelids opened, revealing her blue eyes, a nagging freling creeping up her chest. she was so tired at work but when she came home she's wide awake.

as if on cue, the bell of her apartment is ringing. a sign that someone is here, waiting outside. she sits still, wondering if she would go out there or not because it's midnight. and she lives alone.

shrugging the feeling, she steps outside her room and head to the front door, her fingers running through her brown hair. she puts her hand on the door knob, opening it wide.

the person behind the door is really unexpected.

brendon. her ex.

not knowing what to say or react, she just blink at him. no voice coming out. silence wrapped them. the question running through her head is why's her ex that left her for someone suddenly on her doorstep in midnight?

"um, hello." he started. "sarah-"

it's been awhile since he says her name.

"-i know this is so sudden and rude of me to show up in this hour-"

what about when you cheated on me?

"-but, i don't have a place to stay." he looks down as if ashemed of himself. he won't meet her gaze as he continues. "alice is with some guy in her house and i-" he stops abruptly as he bites his lower lip.

so now he knows how it feels to be cheated? he comes here because he knows that she would always be here? what about him? does he do the same?

she was about to say something but the wetness of his eyes stops her. she was surprised. is he really this affected by this girl?

she tried so hard to move on from him, and she's conviced that she has moved on. then here he is. right in front of her. and she feels her heart longing for him.

but he's crying because of a girl who's not her.

she's hurt.

"come in." she heard herself blurted out. this is sarah. she's selfless. unlike him, she has a heart even for her ex. "you look cold, want some soup?" she turns around, facing him. she can't help but feel worried for the guy, although he cheated on her.

"that would be nice." he nods, his eyes boring into her as she steps to her kitchen. the place where she feels safe. cooking is a hobby of her, and brendon knew that. he always loved her cooking. and the thought that he would be eating her cooking makes him happy. it's been awhile.

no sounds are coming from the two humans, only the sound of chopping can be heard. brendon is itching for her to say something, anything. even if it's an insult for him, he's gonna accept it.

"how are you doing?" he said in attempt to start a conversation with her.

"fine as usual." i'm not, especially now. "how 'bout you?"

"i'm..." he trails off, "i'm fine." his eyes are contrast to what he just said. but of course she didn't see that. her back was facing him as she chops.

so he's fine.

she's the only one not fine out of the two of them? how pathetic of her.

she continues to chop, biting her lower lip to stop the sobbing sound despite the tears rolling down her cheeks.

he was watching her from behind, he knows she's crying.

after she's done, she wipes her tears with her wrist, taking a deep breath. she continues cooking while his eyes watch her every movement, as if afraid that she would suddenly runaway.

"here." she puts the bowl on the table. he heard the clanking sound, so he stand up and head to the chair. digging in.

he remembers the feel.

how it feels like home.

the taste of her cooking makes him warm, he can even feel the love in this bowl. yet he can't give her anything. he gulps down the soup, unknowingly let out a small smile at how he misses this.

she watches him, relieved that he's eating it. she can feel her heart churning, so she went to her room. wanting to pour her hearts out. but then she halts as she remember something, "you can sleep on the room next door, good night." and then she goes to her room.

his heart is yearning for her to turn around and accompany him. he almost tell her to stay. but that would be selfish of him, isn't it?

so he sleeps that night while facing the wall on his left, where her room is.