I Just Don't Know Anymore

Part III

I'm I becoming that easy to read.

Today someone asked if anything was wrong and another asked if I was okay.

I worked so hard on building these walls.

On keeping them up.

On keeping everyone out.

And keeping me in.

But if these walls are starting to crumble.

To grow old.

I don't know what I'll do.

I put up walls to protect everyone I care about.

They shouldn't have to worry about me.

I shouldn't make their lives harder.

I want to make them easier.

And them worrying about me makes it harder.

My walls are failing.

I know people told me they'll be here for me.

But what happens they're not able to be here when I need them.

I'm breaking.

While everyone is soaring above me as I continue to break.

Why can't I be happy???

Its usually a fake smile.

Or knowing that its one if those days where I'm just depressed.

I'm trying.

I'm trying so hard.

But its not working.

Everything is failing.

What happens when my walls finally break???

When they crash to the ground???

When I'm finally tired of rebuilding them???

What happens then???

I don't know what to do anymore.