Runaway (A Zayn Malik fanfiction)

Chapter 67 ♡

Chapter 67

(Kat's POV)

"Mind if I smoke one?" I heard his voice say.

I didn't react, or open my eyes. I just stood there and reached into my pocket, taking out the packet of cigarettes that were rightfully his, and handing it to him.

He didn't say a word as he took the pack from my hands, his skin brushing against mine for a quick moment, sending shivers up my spine. I brought the cigarette back up to my lips and smoked it, feeling the bitter taste that I grew so fond of.

"Open your eyes," he whispered.

But I didn't. Because I knew of I looked at him, I would've immediately broke down. All the pain in my body would leave mine and inject his, and I didn't want that for him.

"Leave," I ordered.

After a few minutes, I heard a sigh. Then I heard footsteps, making my stomach churn. He had left. That's when I finally opened my eyes.

I shook my head to see him standing right there, deceiving me. He had never left. And I knew he never would.

"Don't forgive me," he spoke. "Just listen."

"I don't need to Zayn," I said.

I saw his jaw fix under his skin as he eyed the promise ring that I never took off on my finger. "I know Kat, but please. If you listen to me now, I'll leave you alone."

I didn't reply. I wanted to listen to him, but I never wanted him to leave me alone. But I couldn't risk being hurt by another man again. I've been hurt too much to be able to give anyone my love and trust again. I can't handle it.

"Go," I said.

He took a deep breath, then reached for my hand. But I pulled back. He took another deep breath and started, "I love you. Always have, always will. Never will I ever stop myself from loving you, because that's impossible."

He took a step closer to me, but since I was against the wall, I was unable to move. He was so close to me, and I needed him. But I couldn't have him. I just couldn't.

"That night..." He sighed, as if preparing himself for the horrible truth. "I don't know what the hell got in to me. And if I regret anything most in this world, it's what I said to you. It's what I did to you. It's everything that happened that night."

Tears formed in the corners of my eyes so I looked down. He couldn't see me getting weak. God dammit.

"You were never a waste of my time," he croaked. "If anything, I was a waste of yours."

I looked up, shooting a look at him to tell him that he was wrong. I opened my mouth but stopped, remembering that I couldn't have him. He stared at me, thinking I was going to object, but when I didn't, he sighed.

"I never meant to hurt you, Kat. Ever. You don't know how much pain I've been through these past couple of days ever since you left. And I'm so sorry, Kat. You deserve someone much better than me, and I know you know that. I hurt you once, and I can't imagine it ever happening again. I'm so sorry baby. I'm so, so sorry."

I saw our promise ring on his finger, making my heart flutter. He never took his off either. I noticed purple bags stacked beneath his eyes, revealing that he hadn't slept much. I also noticed that he had lost some weight, maybe he wasn't eating much either. It was all my fault.

I swallowed the lump rising in my throat and stood tall. "Is that all?"

He stared at me for a long time before nodding. I didn't waste a moment before dropping my cigarette and stepping on it to crush the flaming ashes. He didn't take his eyes off me, and I couldn't help but stare back. For it might be my last good look at him.