Park & Eleanor

Three

eleanor

Every fiber of her being fought with her as she loaded up the bag. All of her cells screamed for her to run back inside. The sciatic nerves, what of them were left, had resorted to giving her healthier alternatives. Maybe she could find a box of Twinkies. Maybe she could write a novel. Maybe she could run a mile. No, she wouldn’t be doing that. 

The internal battle kept on as she looked over at her nightstand. Her now outdated walkman was peeking above the drawer. She’d tried her hardest to remember any of the mix-tapes that Park had made for her. Of course, luck hated her. She remembered what she could and put it on a tape. Fortunately, that small collection was enough to get her through everything that happened after she left. 

On an impulse grab, she shoved the walkman into her bag along with a pack of batteries. She could just see how Ben or Maisie would look at her when they saw it. But she couldn’t blame herself. She had to prepare herself somehow, right? 

It was like she could already feel him. Like she was already blanketed in solely his memory. Knots wound up  in her stomach. 

But what if she really did see Park? What if Park was with another girl? Would she be jealous? Obviously. 

She fought with her subconscious to change the subject. 

Her poor mother must be a wreck. 

She could vividly remember the call they’d shared when she first ran away. Her mother’s voice was cracked, and it sounded as if Richie had drained all of the life from her. And at that moment in time, she felt terrible about leaving. But then again, some saint (who she’d definitely be high-fiving if she ever found out who that might be) had made it much easier on her once she’d left. Richie was a huge weight on her mother’s shoulders, it seemed. And now that he was gone, she was free. Eleanor might even get to move back home, if you could call that hellhole a home. Although she doubted the kids would take it lightly, she hoped they’d want to support their mom like Eleanor did. Her mother really needed it. 

That in mind, Eleanor grabbed more clothes. She knew that she’d be staying as long as her mother was willing to have her, whether that was a good idea or not.