Ephemeral

glazed over

reason #5:
the fact he did not love me.

    watching him watch someone else just plain hurt and i would often find myself feeling betrayed,

like i had lost someone i never even had.

but even so, when he'd talk to another girl his eyes would still meet mine and the sparks felt like the spitting oil from cooking, my stomach felt like i was falling, falling from the highest fucking roller coaster i've ever been on.

he would watch me and i'd wonder if he knew.

i didn't mind either way since i wouldn't have told him that i liked him anyways.

    his gaze could make my breath catch in my throat and i'd just have to grit my teeth and swallow the dry knot that was lodged in it.

and somehow I found myself being completely fine with that.

A/N:

I want to slam my forehead into a nice, hard concrete wall.